This Is What It Looks Like When You Chase Someone


Chasing someone looks like unanswered text messages and one-word replies or keeping your phone close and getting excited when there’s a notification, only to get disappointed that it’s not from the person you wanted to talk to. It looks like the one-way conversations that leave you feeling like they’d never take the initiative to keep in touch if you didn’t try so hard to keep their attention.

Chasing someone looks a lot like the sad reflection of yourself when you stand in front of a mirror wondering what they don’t like about you. It’s the feeling of being unwanted. It’s the constant thought of “Why don’t they like me?” or “What can I do to make them like me?” But at the end of the day, wondering what you’re lacking or actually trying to fit into someone else’s ideals is not going to change their mind.

Chasing someone looks like the one-sided effort of “hanging out” and dead-end conversations. It looks like the frown on your face from cancelled plans and unmet expectations, no matter how many times you reschedule plans to accommodate them.

Chasing someone looks like the fights they constantly start just to lure you into chasing them more. As if losing you in the process doesn’t scare them even a little bit because in all honesty, they don’t really care.

Chasing someone looks like the time you spend (or waste) waiting for them to make up their mind about you.

Chasing someone looks a lot like mind games, playing hard to get, mixed signals, and the hot and cold treatment that leaves you feeling confused. It looks like the uncertainty in between the days when they treat you like you’re the best thing ever and the days that follow when they treat you like you don’t exist at all. It looks like the rainy Sunday afternoons spent interpreting the meaning behind their actions and texts instead of indulging yourself in a warm cup of coffee and an interesting book.


Chasing someone looks like the seemingly harmless flirting, only it never turns into something real.

Chasing someone looks like the need to prove to them that you are strong enough, intelligent enough, fun enough, and worthy enough for them to want to spend the rest of their life with you. But instead of having to prove yourself to someone who doesn’t value you, why not wait for someone who will appreciate you for who you are and accept you as you are?


Chasing after someone feels like the unnecessary heartache you put yourself through by convincing yourself that they could be the one and letting go might mean you’re taking a pass on your one chance at love. But that’s just not the truth. There are more people out there who are worthy of your time and would put in effort for you and see your worth if you only give them a chance instead of focusing your time and attention on someone who doesn’t. If you have to wait around for someone to see your worth, then they don’t deserve you.

Chasing someone looks like settling—settling for someone who: (1) can’t meet you halfway; (2) would be perfectly fine existing without you; and (3) treats you less than what you deserve. They may be a perfectly good person, and you might have this idea that you two would be a good fit together if they’d only try. But when you’re the only one making all the effort, is it not draining?

Someone who absolutely wants you will make the effort to be with you no matter what, while the person who doesn’t want you will have all the excuses in the world just to not be with you. Chasing someone may be thrilling, but the cold hard truth about chasing someone is that you cannot convince someone to fall in love with you. So let them go and be with someone who makes you feel wanted.


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