Love Advice: Why Modern Relationships Fail So Easily
Why Modern Relationships Fail So Easily. The best thing I’ve read lately. Every sentence is spot on, and it hurts.
Why is it difficult to maintain relationships today? Why do we break up so often, even though we try so hard to love? Why have people suddenly become incapable of long-term relationships? Have we forgotten how to love? Or, even worse, what is love at all?
Why Modern Relationships Fail So Easily
We are not ready. We are not ready for sacrifice, for compromise, for unconditional love. We are not ready to give everything for the relationship. We want everything to be easy. We are slackers. It only takes one obstacle for us to give up. We do not allow our love to grow; we leave before it is time.
We are not looking for love, but for thrills. We want someone to go to the movies and cafes with, not someone who can understand us even when we are silent. We spend time together, but we do not create shared memories. We do not want to live a boring life. We do not want a partner for life, but only someone with whom we will feel good here and now, and this is very temporary. When the passion fades, we understand that no one prepared us for the ordinariness of life. We do not believe in the charm of predictability because we are too blinded by the thirst for adventure.
We are immersed in meaningless city life, leaving no room for love. We have no time for love and no patience to deal with relationships. We are busy people chasing materialistic dreams, and love does not fit in here. Relationships are nothing more than convenience.
We seek instant gratification in everything we do.
When we post something online, we expect likes right away; when we choose a profession, we expect a successful career and recognition; when we choose a person, we expect great love. We want maturity in relationships that comes with time, an emotional connection that develops over the years—and we want it right away, but it doesn’t happen that way. And we don’t have time or patience.
We would rather spend an hour with a hundred people than spend a day with one person .
We believe in having “options.” We are “social” people. We believe in meeting people more than getting to know them. We are greedy. We want to have it all. We jump into relationships at the slightest attraction to a person, and we jump out of them as soon as we find someone better. We don’t want to bring out the best in a person. We want them to be perfect right away. We date a lot of people but rarely give anyone a real chance. We are disappointed in everyone.
Technology brings us so close together that it’s impossible to breathe.
Our physical presence is replaced by messages, chats, and video calls. We don’t feel the need to spend time together. We already have too much of each other in our lives: on every social network, on Skype, Viber… What else is there to talk about?
We are a generation of wanderers who don’t stay in one place for long. We are afraid of commitment. We believe that we are not made for relationships. We don’t want to “settle down.” Even the thought of it scares many. We can’t imagine being with one person for the rest of our lives. We leave. We despise permanence as some kind of social evil. We like to believe that we are different. We like to believe that we don’t fit into social norms.
We are a generation that calls itself “sexually liberated.”
We separate sex from love, or so we think. We are the sex and breakup generation. We have sex first and then decide if we want to be with that person. Having sex is like going out for a drink. You do it not because you love the person, but because you want to feel pleasure, at least temporarily.
Side relationships are no longer considered taboo. There is even the concept of open relationships, friends with benefits, one-night stands, and sex without obligations.
We are a practical generation that is guided only by logic. We no longer know how to love madly. We no longer travel vast distances to be with our beloved. On the contrary, we break up because of the distance. We are too rational for love.
We are a generation that is afraid—to fall in love, to get married, to fail, to feel pain, to have our hearts broken.
We don’t let anyone near us, and we don’t approach anyone. We sit behind high walls that we built around our hearts, waiting for love and running away, and hiding every time it appears on the horizon. We don’t want to be vulnerable. We don’t want to bare our souls to anyone.
We don’t value relationships anymore. We let go of even the most wonderful people.
There is nothing we cannot conquer in this world. And yet we are so helpless in this game of love—the main one among human feelings.
