Love Advice: The Main Mistakes Of A Wife And… A Mistress
The most common forced trio in the world—wife-husband-lover—sometimes easily and naturally turns into a duet. Who remains in it depends on how many mistakes the other side makes.
Mitigating circumstances
So, a man (who, as we know, is polygamous by nature) has taken a mistress. Let’s not take into account the moral and ethical side of the problem now; we already know that cheating is not good, that mistresses are equated with outcasts, and a sinning man is branded with all sorts of terrible words. We will abstract ourselves from the widespread and hackneyed point of view on the situation and look at it from a different angle. Let’s swap some words. Instead of “took a mistress,” for example, we will put “met his true love.”.
“Aha,” you ask. “So, before that, he lived with artificial love for five to ten to fifteen years?” ” Also incorrect. Love, as we know, rarely chooses based on social and civil status. Errarum humanum est, or, to put it simply, in popular parlance, a person sometimes makes mistakes. This is typical of him. Have you ever noticed that modern society is for some reason, more tolerant of a woman who takes a lover? Like, Kolka the goat got on her nerves, so she found an outlet. But “being pestered” by “goat-Manka” for some reason is not considered a mitigating circumstance, and Kolka remains a goat in any case.
Like in war
In general, the situation. The husband has met wonderful love. This is a scenario in which the wife is guaranteed to find out about the presence of a rival sooner or later. If a simple trip “to the left” for health and variety still has a chance to remain a secret, then the wonderful and bright feeling that is bursting a man from the inside will sooner or later come out. And then the most intriguing part will begin. There are few women who in this situation are capable of showing nobility and agreeing to an amicable settlement—dividing the property, explaining to the children that dad loves them but will live in another place, maintaining positive relations with the ex, and congratulating each other on holidays. The first reaction of any offended woman will be an immediate desire to declare war.
On the other side of the barricades is his mistress. Or, more precisely, the very great love of his life. And she loves him too. Phrases about “happiness in someone else’s garden,” “on someone else’s bones,” and other dubious places and on strange foundations have frankly become a pain in the ass. Everything, absolutely everything, happens in this life. We do not justify mistresses, but let’s at least be as fair and objective as possible: the situation exists and something needs to be done about it. There is a wife on the warpath; here is a newly-minted beloved in confusion and turmoil: how did she manage to do this? In the center is the hero of the occasion, who, in all fairness, should be given freedom and a slap on the back of the head, but instead, serious battles are about to begin for him.
Mistake number one: Hysteria
Wife. Tears, of course, release the stress hormone. And the picturesque tears flowing from the corners of the eyes make a woman helpless, fragile, and a feeling of guilt of unprecedented strength is born in the soul of a man, but let’s be objective: our women do not yet know how to cry beautifully. Or they can, but only on the screens. In reality—whistling sobs, streaming tears, throat wheezing, a red nose, swollen eyes, broken dishes, shaking a child and a frying pan—and a husband who understands that it is better to run away from here and as quickly as possible.
Mistress. It’s too early for you to be hysterical. You knew what you were getting into. If you really want to cry, practice shedding the aforementioned dramatic tears. God forbid you even hint at hysteria.
Hysterics, most likely, he ate his fill at home. And if there they cry and break dishes, here they cry and, at best, just cry, without damaging property, then where can he go? And what if, again, there is no crying at all? Then your tears will not have time to dry, as the amateur will rush to seek peace and quiet under the wing of a spouse who has suddenly acquired virtues.
Mistake number two: Feeling guilty
Wife. Yes, he is guilty. I will tell you more—he knows it and he will live with it all his life. Moreover, if he is a sane person, then he will assess the degree of his guilt adequately and will not rush to build a mansion on Rublyovka for the three “spoiled” years of his life. Agree on reasonable moral and financial compensation. For yourself, for the children. If he has problems with an adequate perception of the world, pedaling a sense of guilt can, of course, become a restraining factor, but from a normal man your spouse will turn into a hunted creature with a feeling of acute mental disorder against the background of an ever-increasing sense of guilt. It will end with him confessing to organizing a Jewish-Masonic conspiracy, the murder of Kennedy, and for the rest of your days you will bring him parcels to the neurosis clinic.
Mistress. The degree of his guilt is no greater than yours. Of course, if you went into a relationship with a man who is not free with your eyes open. It is unlikely that he has managed to do something so badly before you. And when trying to arouse this far from wonderful feeling in him, he may think twice. By the way, the opposite effect is possible. The more you try to arouse in him a feeling of guilt before you for some unworthy things, the more the feeling of guilt before the family he left will be activated in him. “Aha,” the man will think, “here they blame for a diamond of the wrong size, and there you spent your entire student youth in torn shoes and did not utter a peep.” And if the wife is a competent manipulator, then instead of blaming him for something, she will begin to actively pity him. And you. And him along with you. Can you already guess what will follow?
Mistake number three: Total control
Wife and mistress. Sniffing, rummaging, constant monitoring of the phone, computer, pockets, neighbors, friends… the list of women’s mistakes is endless. A person who is deprived of personal space sooner or later comes to a reasonable conclusion to eliminate the cause of the violation of their personal boundaries. The phone and mail are still very intimate things. And a man who works in the company of more than one woman can smell someone else’s perfume for completely innocent reasons. And what, in fact, do you hope to find there? It is worth remembering that he who seeks will always find, and think about whether you really want this. Mistake number four: Shaking a child
Wife. A child is not a bargaining chip. And under no circumstances should it become a tool for manipulation. Psychologists around the world unanimously assert: a child who has become the reason for two people being forced to live together grows up and acquires numerous complexes, and his childhood is far from happy. A loving set of parents living separately is better than life in a constantly tense atmosphere.
Mistress. No child in the world has ever held on to any man—our mothers love to repeat this phrase. Learn it by heart. And look at the recommendations for the wife; they apply to you too. In conclusion, we wish you to live in such a way that triangles simply have no place in your life.
