Male manipulation by silence. How to react to it.
Men have such a natural reaction of the body—to retreat into their empty cave, a box, as some psychologists say. Many do this unconsciously and do not consider it necessary to respond here and now. And what should women do about it in this case?
Male manipulation by silence
Have you ever had this happen, You wrote something to your boyfriend or said something, and he went silent. Whether it was something harmless or offensive—it doesn’t matter, he disappeared, and you are overcome with horror and panic, a feeling of guilt: I probably offended him, he probably found out something about me, some kind of dirt, in the hairy year 2000, I did something wrong, he only found out about it now and left me!
You start rewinding your entire life, remembering everything you said to him, looking for words that could have offended him… STOP… calm down… You didn’t offend him in any way. Even if you want to offend him, you won’t; men are not as vulnerable creatures as they seem.
Men have such a natural reaction of the body—to retreat into their empty cave, a box, as some psychologists say. Many do this unconsciously and do not consider it necessary to answer here and now, and this is normal.
It is during moments of pause that men make important decisions for themselves, so they should not be feared, but on the contrary, they should be in anticipation of something new and good.
I call it the rubber band effect, the man is silent, which means he is pulling the rubber band and soon he will be hit back with new force. If you start twitching and panicking at this moment, you will ruin this mysterious moment and will not let the man feel that you are dear to him.
The brain interprets the partner’s silence as a loss of control over the situation, which causes panic and sets off a wild imagination: the partner died, got angry, left you, found another, better, etc. The brain draws scary pictures; honestly, the pause method can drive anyone crazy, so men are happy to use this method consciously and unconsciously.
There is a category of men who do this on purpose; I wrote about them in my book “How to Keep a Man Without Making Any Effort” in the chapter about bastards.
They deliberately do not respond to your messages and avoid questions, especially sensitive ones, to create a fear of loss in you and make you give up your questions or complaints.
Thus, most men refuse to bear any responsibility at all, using only the pause method. It allows keeping a woman in constant fear and doing nothing; she will refuse everything with her own hands.
Male manipulation by silence. Example :
He writes to you:
Will you come?
No, I can’t; I don’t feel well
-…. (silence)
Well, I do feel bad
-…silence
-I called a taxi; I’ll be there soon.
-ok
This is roughly how it looks; using the pause method, a woman can be persuaded to do almost anything.
Can you lend me $15,000 until Wednesday?
? No, I don’t have any; I would give it to you
? -…. Silence
Don’t be offended, well, I don’t have any, my mother got sick, all the money went into medicine.
– Silence…
2 hours passed
I found money, borrowed from my neighbor
– ok
And it should be like this:
Will you come?
– silence
-???
– silence.
a day has passed
-Good morning, dear! How are you?
– Fine
or
Could you lend me 15 thousand until Wednesday?
– Silence..
I’ll pay it back right away
– Silence..
a week has passed
– darling hello! How are you? Where did you disappear to? I found everything. Let’s go to the cinema.
You can build wonderful relationships on pauses alone, they warm up feelings in men because the fear of loss and love are often the same, these two energies are very similar.
This method can and should be used in cases when, for example, you have been dating for a long time and he does not propose to you and does not touch on the topic of your future at all. I see only one solution to this issue: tell him about it, like this and that, I can’t do this anymore, I need a family, I want to decide whether it will be with you or not, so as not to waste time, think and give an answer! And take a break; do not meet with him.
Don’t respond to his messages and offers on irrelevant topics. Don’t let him take your attention in another direction; don’t pay attention to his stories and excuses about how he needs to finish his studies, find a job, buy an apartment, a car blah-blah-blah, get a divorce, etc. and you only accept two answers from him: yes and no.
And don’t twitch if he’s disappeared; wait as long as your heart tells you—a week, for example; if there’s no answer, decide for yourself that it’s “no.” Let him go and come to terms with it.
Most likely, he will freeze you with this pause, hoping that you will get scared and back down, and then he will appear, as if nothing had happened, with some stupid question, like: Where did you disappear to? How are you?
If this happens, it means that he builds all his relationships exclusively on pauses and manipulations, and he does not want to build them any other way than saying goodbye to him.
I know from experience that you won’t get anything from such people anyway; they appear and then disappear; they appear and then disappear; they all wait for you to agree to their terms, and they can wait for years; they have no hurry, so his attention is guaranteed to you for years, and you will receive it. Even without physical contact, a kind of relationship on the subtle plane, you know that he is there, dangling somewhere on an elastic band.
Women often ask me how to behave in certain unclear situations, when a man asks or says some nonsense or insults me, and I don’t know how to treat it or how to react. My answer: no way, don’t answer at all, take a break, and the problem will solve itself. He’ll be flicked on the nose with a rubber band, a boomerang, whatever you want to call it; he’ll understand without words that he did something wrong and will replay the situation.
A man with an unstable psyche (as well as a woman) will call you off the phone in this situation, thereby pushing you away from himself and causing a desire to close yourself off from him.
An adequate man will endure your pause with dignity and will answer—maybe not right away, but he will answer. A selfish or random person who does not need all this will disappear.
In general, silence, although it is manipulation, is considered a cultural way of solving many issues. Over time, when your partner understands that this “silence” will not knock you off balance, he will refuse it and will talk to you! But for this, you need to win this silent fight!
And in general, to build a strong relationship, you need to talk less; a good half is built on silence. In this way, a woman (as well as a man) becomes alluring, mysterious, and enigmatic.
There is also the magic word “ok,” which, if inserted at the right moment, can also move mountains, but more on that in other posts.
If you liked the article “Male Manipulation by Silence,” then share it with your girlfriends. And be happy!
