He Cheated on You? Just how to Get Over a Man Without Looking For Vengeance

Let me just put it out there. Being cheated on is one of the most painful experiences that anyone can go through. When someone hits or batters you, those wounds heal. But when someone cheats on you, that leaves battle scars the size of craters. Being cheated on is like someone telling you that you aren’t even good enough to be faithful to.

All too often when someone cheats on us, we do the wrong thing. Either we go after the girl he cheated with and try to make her miserable, or we internalize the cheating like it was something lacking in us.

9 things to do after he cheated on you

Being cheated on can only be met with one resolution… dump him! The reality is that the phrase, “once a cheater always a cheater,” is true. If a person cheated on you once in a relationship, there was something wrong – and it wasn’t you. It was him, and it is time to kick him to the curb.

#1 Walk away with grace. I know it feels ooooh-so-good to get revenge. Revenge can come in many forms. You can tear his apartment up, rip apart his things, or sleep with his best friend. Geez, as women we can come up with a thousand various ways of punishing a guy.

#2 Don’t get specifics. Often we punish ourselves by sticking around to find out how far-reaching and how many times we were hurt without even knowing. Knowing the logistics of when it started, when they were first together, where they were together, and how long it has been going on, isn’t going to make you feel any better

#3 Mum’s the word. When you start telling the intimate details of your relationship to others, the only thing you are doing is continually reliving the story and stinging it further into your soul. No one needs to know the lurid details any more than you do.

A simple “it didn’t work out” will suffice. Some people live off the misery of others and enjoy nothing more than hearing all the ugliness of a relationship. Conduct yourself by not letting anyone latch on to your pain. Keep it to yourself, or talk it over with a close friend. Announcing it all over town isn’t going to make you feel better… it will just make everyone pity you.

#4 Know it is on him. After time, many people will begin to overanalyze the situation to find out what went wrong. Don’t think about the reasons why he cheated on you, or what you did in the relationship that may have enabled or led to his indiscretions.

#5 Don’t allow it to change you. Sometimes when someone cheats on us, we carry the baggage felt into our next relationships. Don’t make a blanket assumption that men cheat and that is just the way that it is.

#6 Learn from your mistakes. Although there was NO good reason that he cheated on you, there are signs that you may have seen along the way. Or, perhaps a nagging voice that was whispering in your ear that something wasn’t right.

Learning from your past may help you to avoid problems for your future. If he was a bad boy, and that attracted you to him, then think twice about your attractions.

#7 Date again. Being cheated on is one of the most painful experiences you can go through. The best thing you can do is to get right back up on that emotional horse.

There is certainly a period of mourning that everyone has to go through, but refusing to move on or leaving your heart open to finding love again, is only going to prolong the agony. When your previous boyfriend hands you lemons, find another guy to sweeten the lemonade.

#8 Build your self-esteem. When he cheated on you, it can be a huge hit to the ego. Whether the other girl was beautiful or a 2, if your boyfriend went outside of your relationship, that is a hard pill to swallow – and may leave you examining how you feel about yourself.

#9 Don’t duck out of life. Seeing your ex can be painful, but if you had a life together, you can’t just avoid the life you had. Each time you have to see him, it will be less and less hurtful, and soon you will find yourself letting the anger go. Just because he cheated on you doesn’t mean life is over.


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