There are so many dating trends out there, it’s sometimes hard to keep up. Some are downright rude, such as ghosting, which is when someone disappears out of your life without any warning. There you were, thinking you had formed a real connection with a guy, and the next minute he’s not taking any of your calls. Dating trends such as this one are enough to make you want to buy 10 cats and call it a day, never to go on another date again.
But it’s worth bearing in mind that there are some great dating trends currently doing the rounds, too. An example is caspering, which is a friendly kind of ghosting. Its name is inspired by Casper, the Friendly Ghost. Caspering is basically when you decide not to continue dating someone but you tell them upfront (but without being harsh) so that you can move on without guilt and they can gain some closure. Which is only fair if you’ve been dating for some time or they thought a relationship was on the cards.
Here are 10 dating trends that put you off dating completely, plus 10 that help you remember to keep the faith- because not every guy out there is going to hurt you. Promise.
20No Thanks: Straight Up Ghosting
What’s worse than someone you’re dating suddenly disappearing on you with no explanation? They stop taking your calls and replying to your messages. They might even block you on social media for what reason you have no idea.
This less than polite trend is called ghosting, and it’s really hard to deal with because you don’t get any closure after investing in someone.
If you’ve been ghosted once, you’re more likely to fear that it will happen to you again. This can make you re-enter the dating scene with fear and a lack of trust. As if dating wasn’t already difficult enough!
19We’re Down: Female Friendly Dating
While some men might call themselves feminists just to get women to like them, in general when men use this label they’re showing that they’re on the side of equality. Why is it important? Sadly, some people think there’s no need for feminism because women’s rights have improved. But, as reported by the Odyssey, just because women we know don’t have regular threats to their wellbeing, it doesn’t mean that other women don’t.
There’s still much work to be done to uplift and empower women, and knowing that a man’s confident enough to stand with women on various issues is quite refreshing.
18No Thanks: Swooping In For The Haunt
Haunting is when someone exits your life (such as after a breakup or after ghosting you) and then returns a few months later. But they don’t say “hey” in a straightforward way. They come back in small ways, such as by “liking” some of your Instagram or Facebook posts.
You assume they want to get back together, but they might just be checking out what you’ve been up to out of curiosity or even jealousy because you’ve got someone new. It’s like the guy’s stalking you online – creepy! – and it can mess with your head, making you assume he wants to get back into your good books when he really doesn’t. Not fun!
17We’re Down: Caspering Without Cruelty
Everyone deserves closure after a relationship, so this dating trend gets a big thumbs-up. Caspering is a nicer form of ghosting. It’s basically when you tell the person you’re dating that you’re not interested in taking things further with them. The key is that you do it in a totally kind way without hurting their feelings unnecessarily, instead of disappearing and no longer taking their calls.
It’s mature and honest, which is exactly what dating should be. After all, it’s unfair to be nice to someone when they’re relationship potential but mean to them when things don’t work out, right?
16No Thanks: Benching Babes For Later
People can really be cruel sometimes. Imagine dating someone but the relationship never progresses. That’s bad enough because you worry about what’s going on. Now imagine that behind the scenes, the person is actually keeping you on the back-burner because they’ve got someone else they’re officially dating.
They want to keep you around and interested in them in case they end up single again and in need of attention.
They do this by stringing you along with well-timed WhatsApp messages or small promises, as reported by The Telegraph. They might, for instance, keep promising to meet up with you but then they never do. Ouch!
15We’re Down: Women Making The First Move
This is still a big trend and won’t go away anytime soon, which is good because it’s empowering for women to make the first move on a guy.
An interesting survey that was reported by The Independent found that one out of three successful heterosexual relationships had actually begun because the women messaged the guys first!
Taking charge of your relationship destiny not only gets you the relationship you desire, but it boosts your confidence because it means you’re not sitting around waiting for things to happen for you. Bottom line? Be bold and start asking for what you want!
14No Thanks: Phubbing In Public
This annoying trend is when someone spends more time looking at their phone than you on a date! They’re basically phone snubbing you. The worst thing about this trend is that it’s not always easy to know how to deal.
Should you tell the person that what they’re doing is rude, or do you just sit there and wait for them to make eye contact with you? Ugh! As reported by the Toronto Sun, the website StopPhubbing.com reports that the average restaurant sees 36 phubbing cases at each dinner seating. That’s crazy!
13We’re Down: Accessible App Dating
You might shudder at all the strange people you meet on dating apps, but you can’t deny that app dating helps to give you more opportunities to find matches. Often, you meet people you never would’ve encountered in real life, so dating apps can be wonderful ways to broaden your horizons.
App dating also helps you to gain a bit more information about someone before going on a date with them, so you avoid wasting your time.
And, if you don’t get much info about someone from their dating app profile, that in itself is a red flag because they’re clearly hiding something!
12No Thanks: Serendipidating On The Spot
You get all dressed up for a date with someone new, really putting in the effort to look and feel good. Then you receive a text message from the person saying that they have to cancel your date because something’s come up.
You might be getting serendipidated without even knowing it!
Serendipidating is when your date cancels your quality time together because they’ve got someone else booked for dinner. As reported by The New York Post, it’s really easy to fall victim to this trend because dating apps make meeting lots of people really quick and easy. Whatever happened to quality over quantity?
11We’re Down: Defining The Relationship (DTR)
Once you’ve been dating someone for a while, you want to know where you stand and where the relationship’s going. In other words, you’ve got to DTR! Defining the relationship is important, but there’s no right time in your relationship when you should have The Talk with your partner.
Hitting that milestone really depends on what feels right for you, but the point is to follow your intuition and make sure you don’t waste your time. In that way, DTR is a great dating trend that keeps you in tune with your relationship goals, or lack thereof, depending on how things turn out.
10No Thanks: Fauxbae’ing Online
You meet someone on social media and they say that they’re actually in a relationship. The weird thing is that there’s no evidence of their partner on their social media profile. No pictures, no name attached to their “in a relationship” information, nothing. What gives?
The person might be fauxbae’ing. This is when someone pretends to have a partner on social media to make you (or their ex) jealous. It’s a really silly move because the person is playing games, hoping others will want them because they’re “unavailable.” Meanwhile, it’s just a waste of everyone’s time!
9We’re Down: Focusing On Emotional Connections
You might feel cynical about millennial dating, such as by thinking that it’s just focused on casual relationships and one-night-stands, so this study will be reassuring. A survey by Match that was reported by The Sunday Times found that millennials are 40 percent more likely than people from other generations to believe that an emotional connection is better for a physical relationship.
See, it’s not just about the physical parts of the partnership, which is a good thing to remember on days when you dread meeting yet another guy who isn’t looking for a real relationship. The truth is that people looking for all-night conversations and emotional closeness are out there!
8No Thanks: R-bombing And Leaving Us Hanging
Is there anything more frustrating than sending a text to someone and not getting a reply? What makes it even worse is that nowadays we have the technology to show us if the text has been received and read. R-bombing is the result of that technology.
It’s when your message is marked as “read” by your crush but he doesn’t reply to it for hours or even days.
You wonder what’s going on and what he’s thinking, which can drive you crazy. It’s really not difficult to reply to a text, so why do people have to make it so?!
7We’re Down: Talking Is Totally Trendy
With all the focus on dating, there’s not much talking that happens. That’s why it’s good to see that there’s currently a talking trend. While it’s not good to spend too much time talking to someone instead of actually spending time with them and moving the relationship forward, you can’t deny that getting to know each other before starting a relationship is invaluable.
“Talking” helps you make the best dating decisions for yourself and it can even prevent you from being distracted by a relationship whirlwind.
This easygoing stage can also keep you from becoming the victim of a horrible trend like love-bombing.
6No Thank: Love Bombing Not Lacking Motive
This is when someone you’ve started dating is super-charming and showers you with affection, but it’s a manipulative tactic. While you think they’re really interested in dating you, they’re just using all their charm to make you smitten with them so that they can take advantage of you.
You might start to feel that something’s not right, and you’d be spot on. Plus, the love-bombing tactics can actually become creepy- so stay on alert if this happens to you. An example is if the person’s desperate to spend time with you alone to the point where they’re isolating you from your friends. Freaky.
5We’re Down: Slow And Steady Dating
Slow dating is when you take your time to get to know someone instead of jumping into a new relationship. It’s also about dating apps that are slowing down when it comes to matches they give you so you can focus on quality instead of quantity. An example, as outlined by SF Gate, is a dating app called Once. It only sends its users one romantic match daily, and it gives them a day to decide if they’re interested in the person or not.
Slow dating gives you time to figure out what you want.
Instead of being bombarded by so many choices, you can take a breather!
4No Thanks: Cuffing When It’s Cold Out
When the cold weather strikes, people go into dating overdrive to find someone to date during the depressing winter to keep the cold and boredom at bay.
This dating tactic is known as cuffing season.
What’s even more upsetting than worrying that your date is just with you because it’s cold outside is that once the weather warms up, he’ll likely dump you so that he can be single again.
Cuffing is the ultimate selfish dating move that probably makes you want to hibernate for the winter so you don’t have to go on a date with anyone and risk heartbreak!
3We’re Down: Being Friends First
You might worry about ruining your friendship when your friend asks you out on a date, but dating your BFF could be the best thing for you. A study by researchers from the University of Texas that was reported by The Independent found that, out of 167 couples, many had known each other for approximately four months before dating – and 67 of them (40 percent) had been friends first.
Being friends with someone before entering into a romantic relationship with them has many benefits.
For example, you’ll be learning more about them when there aren’t relationship expectations and first impressions to be made, seeing them in different situations, and trusting them.
2No Thanks: Catfishing
This is a trend that can really become scary. It’s when someone creates a fake online dating profile so that they can get more attention and dates on an app. One of the most common examples is when someone uploads a picture of themselves that isn’t actually them – they might Photoshop the photo or go one step further by asking their attractive friend to pose in the picture instead.
Another way in which someone might lie online is by faking information. It’s creepy, especially because you never know if someone’s being genuine or not… until you conduct some smart Google searches to find out more about them.
1We’re Down: Breezing By Dates
Wouldn’t it be great to forget about all the stressful dating rules out there and just have fun? Breezing is a trend that’s focused on just that, so you should try it! This dating trend is actually quite liberating because it means you show your real self instead of playing hard to get.
The idea is that you date “honestly” without worrying so much about how to strategize when meeting someone new. Best of all, breezing reminds you to enjoy yourself because honestly, we’re not doing enough of that in dating. It’s become a chore, and that needs to change.
