Love/Dating

From We to I – selfish love?

The individual in the partnership has more and more say. He is moving to the forefront and pushing the common interests to the back. This is the result of the study “Legacy.”. In it, social researchers found that the self-determination of each partner in modern relationships is increasingly becoming the focus—women in particular attach importance to this.

Women in particular are driving the trend in which the personal responsibility and individuality of those involved play a more central role than romantic ideals such as devotion and sacrifice. Men, on the other hand, feel more bound and are more likely to hold on to what they have in common.

Every second man wants to be with his partner all the time

While, according to the survey, every second man (51 percent) would prefer to spend all his time with his partner, only 41 percent of women want that. 14 percent of them rejected the idea, and only 8 percent of men could not imagine being with their partner all the time.

Women also seem to place greater value on their self-determination than men when it comes to important life decisions: 29 percent of men agreed with the statement that future generations should make decisions in important life situations out of love for their partners, but only one in four women (25 percent). 24 percent of women rejected this, and only 19 percent of men did so.

Men hold on to failed relationships.

The researchers also found that men tend to hold on to their relationship: while only one in five women (20 percent) is in favor of maintaining a broken relationship for the sake of the children, almost one in three men (32 percent) is in favor of it. 40 percent of women reject this, compared to just 28 percent of men.

Love, according to the scientists, seems to be freeing itself from the chains of social norms. “Marriage, once a strong norm, is also in the process of dissolving,” WZB head Jutta Allmendinger told Die Zeit.

Modern partnership: balancing power

Men are still more attached to the traditional concept of love. This is not surprising, as they have benefited more from the classic role models and the power imbalance. Women are taking advantage of their opportunity: “In contrast to men, they see the more modern, partnership-based relationship model as an advantage,” says social researcher Jan Wetzel.

However, the researchers make it clear that striving for more independence and self-determination is not a rejection of commitment. For both men (87 percent) and women (90 percent), love is the most important thing in life.

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