Afraid of losing him/her? Is relationship anxiety preventing you from truly loving your partner? How can you overcome this feeling that can ruin your relationship? Why can’t you truly love someone if you’re afraid of losing them? I’ve identified one very consistent indicator in men that determines the future viability of their serious relationships.
This is the only thing that prevents them from being the man who can reverse the negative energy and consciously create the partnership you desire. For women, the fear of losing a loved one is expressed in a similar way, but it is rooted in insecurities and a lack of trust in your partner. This applies whether you are married or in a committed relationship where you feel a loss of connection, respect, and/or trust.
What causes anxiety in relationships?
This is the only thing that will cause you constant disappointment, anxiety, and uncertainty.
You are afraid of losing him/her
Your paralyzing, unspoken fear of losing him/her prevents you from thinking clearly and fearlessly taking actions that will strengthen your bond. The only way to start making changes that will actually help your relationship is to stop harboring the fearful thoughts that got you here in the first place. It’s that hidden fear that makes you feel ashamed of your behavior and eats away at your self-esteem.
Why are you afraid of losing your partner?
9 fears. This is what you can hear from men and women:
- Fear of being alone.
- Fear of feeling rejected and replaced.
- You’re afraid of how this will affect your children.
- Fear of feeling inferior or a failure.
- You are afraid of losing your identity as a wife (husband) and mother (father).
- Fear of seeing him/her with someone else.
- You are afraid of never loving or being loved again.
- Fear of what your family and friends will think of you.
- You are afraid because it shouldn’t be this way!
Many of you may have already felt all of this in your own marriage; I personally know dozens of people who have been through this. These nine fears are like movie trailers that play in your brain morning, noon, and night. And while your mind is running at 100% processing these fears, you are avoiding the only thing that can help you.
You have to work hard to confront these fears and talk to them rationally. You need a place where you can breathe.
The Importance of Getting Your Mojo Back
Many women and men talk about a time when they felt very clear and confident about themselves, their lives, and their relationships . They knew what mojo was, but now, for some reason, it’s gone! You need to get your mojo back, your judgment, your confidence, and your contentment.
A person who feels strong and confident in themselves and what they want and value in their partner is worth a lot. Action creates change. And if nothing changes, then you have reached a dead end.
Is it normal to feel fear?
Yes, damn it! It’s natural; it’s human nature. Only a fool is not afraid of anything. A sensible person tries not to give in to his fears and does not allow them to control him. That’s exactly what you need to do.
Is it acceptable to be vulnerable?
Absolutely! Vulnerability is healthy, necessary, and hot for most women. As Brené Brown says in Daring Greatly:
What does it mean to love properly?
It is impossible to truly love your partner when you live in fear and are unable to act. Why? Because your loved one cannot properly experience the love, respect, and affection you offer if it comes from a place of insecurity, fear, and inaction.
1. It is difficult to respect your fear and inaction. You appear weak.
2. Your anxiety in the relationship makes him/her feel insecure and unsafe.
3. This behavior causes boredom and unattractiveness.
4. It puts pressure on him/her to distance themselves from you and towards others.
5. This feeling makes you focus EXCLUSIVELY on what you are not getting from your partner.
6. Relationship anxiety causes you to think, speak, and act in a whiny and pathetic manner.
7. You look selfish.
8. Your fears prevent you from giving him/her your true, unconditional love.
The term “true love” means that we give love from a place of integrity. It means that we give our love from a place of security and self-confidence. We don’t need anything from him/her to complete us or protect us before we love him/her unconditionally.
If you want to avoid fear
If you want to escape the jaws of fear and inaction, you will need to focus on a new direction and destination. Doing so will require a fearless leap of faith and an unwavering personal commitment to create the best version of yourself.
The next step will sound funny to you. You will need to focus less on the expected results of the relationship and more on yourself. Invest time and money to build your sense of self-confidence and self-worth.
Next, you need to learn to focus on becoming the kind of person who gets what they want. This will allow you to stop defending and justifying your previous behavior. You need to stop justifying your fears and the actions they inspire.
Your fear of destroying and losing yourself must be greater than your fear of losing what you have right now.
