Why do women start relationships with married men? Paradox: the mistress envies the status of the wife, and the wife envies the love that the mistress receives. But in fact, they are unhappy about the be. The mistress, starting a relationship with a married man at the beginning, does not think about the consequences and then realizes that she is no longer satisfied with her role, writes Irina Gavrilova Dempsey.
Every woman, first of all, strives for love. All her actions are initially motivated by feelings because the fair sex lives in a bright, colorful world of feelings and emotions. Our actions often do not yield to male logic—straightforward, calculating.
When mistresses begin a relationship with a married man, it can be challenging for those around them to understand what motivates them. And it is difficult to understand the man—he has a family, children, a loving and caring wife, and he suddenly goes “left.”.
In this article, I propose to consider the situation from different points of view—the reasons for the mistress’s behavior, the grounds for the husband’s infidelity.
Why do mistresses start relationships with married men?
If you find yourself in the role of a mistress, try to choose what reason exactly prompted you to have a relationship with someone else’s husband. Wives who have been cheated on by a man will also find it useful to read the points below.
A mistress is not always initially free. Sometimes she can be a married lady who, for some reason, decided to have a relationship on the side.
Let’s look at several reasons why a woman decides to have such a relationship:
1. The woman has an overly hectic pace of life. Work, friends, hobbies—all this and much more takes up free time, and there is simply not enough strength or desire to build strong relationships to create a family.
2. The woman was married, but the union did not bring her much happiness. Therefore, soon after the marriage, a decision was made to divorce, and in the near future she simply does not want to relive this negative relationship again. She consciously starts a relationship with a man without the goal of marrying him.
3. A woman simply enjoys communicating with a man. Sometimes she can talk to him; sometimes they do without words. She is free; she decides for herself when she wants to spend time with a man and when—alone. And she likes this arrangement.
4. A woman has enough representatives of the stronger s+x in her environment, and she simply does not see the point in creating a relationship with one man.
5. A married woman is simply bored; family life has become dull and uninteresting, she lacks emotions and sensuality. Secret relationships on the side give her a rush of adrenaline and energy and brighten up dull everyday life. Life seems to become brighter, more interesting, and more mysterious. In family relationships, everything has become familiar and calm, but with another man, there are constant worries, outbursts of emotions…
6. There are always rumors about a woman’s loneliness, boring life and cold bed. And a desire to do something extraordinary awakens in her to prove to everyone around her that she is not alone and that she also has passion, sex, and feelings.
7. A woman simply strives for love—sincere, mutual. She is looking for a man who will make her fantasies come true.
8. Sometimes a woman becomes a mistress for selfish purposes—financial support, promotion, expensive gifts, etc.
9. A woman suffers from a lack of male attention; his presence is nearby. This happens if the husband has a job that requires almost constant absence from home—business trips, swimming…
I can assume that some reason is not on this list. But the most common reasons for a single woman to start a relationship with a married man are listed above.
And if we have sorted out the female reasons, then we can try to understand the motives of a family man who goes into a relationship with his mistress.
Reasons for male infidelity
Scientific research shows that male infidelity primarily harms the man himself—his health becomes weaker, and as a result, he dies earlier.
But the stronger sex finds excuses for themselves quite easily. The most common of them are:
1. The feeling of light love, frivolity, and freedom helps a man to overcome some psychological crisis and creates a feeling of big events in life that can stir up monotonous family routines. The man seems to be immersed in youth and remembers and, as if, re-experiences those emotions and feelings that are characteristic of young men and men in love.
2. The man feels the need to look sexy and desirable in the eyes of women again. In this case, a mistress acts as a way to restore his male self-esteem.
3. The mystery that needs to be preserved and the difficulties that need to be overcome excite and arouse a man. Especially if they are accompanied by physical pleasure.
4. A man wants to feel like he is in charge. He wants to be the most important thing in a woman’s life, but he is not interested in her at all. He reserves the right to come whenever he wants, without being interested in the woman’s wishes and plans.
5. Deep down, a married man feels his wife’s interest in him has diminished. This hurts his male pride and awakens a desire to take revenge on her for being too busy with his own affairs. And in this case, his mistress only helps him feel important and significant internally.
6. The man feels dissatisfaction in terms of sexuality. For example, he wants unusual experiments in bed, but for some reason he cannot realize them in the marital bed.
7. Relationships on the side sometimes act as a way to assert oneself among friends. Especially if friends also cheat. Sometimes men go further—they strive to “score more points”—to have as many relationships as possible. An exciting spirit of rivalry and play awakens in them. For him, a mistress is just a toy in a large collection, another victory, nothing more.
8. Some men feel a psychological need to humiliate women. Such men are called “misogynists.”. This does not prevent him from starting a family—he humiliates and insults his wife. But, having a mistress, he feels even greater satisfaction because he causes mental pain and suffering to two women at the same time.
9. A man feels aroused by female rivalry. He always tells his wife about the affair and enjoys watching two women trying to win him over and keep him. If the mistress gives in, he finds the next “victim,” and so on in a circle.
10. A case where a man is driven by rivalry with another man. He wins over an attractive lady who has a boyfriend. As soon as she falls into his arms, he dumps her.
11. The “faithful and reliable” head of the family dreams of an invisible lover: when he is with her, they have their own happy little world, but as soon as he steps outside her apartment, he again turns into a caring husband and loving daddy.
If you are in the role of a mistress, think: do you need such “happiness”—to be someone’s toy, a way of self-affirmation? Do you get so much in return to be just an object of achieving some fleeting goal?
A woman, like a flower, requires careful care, both from the men around her and from herself. Take care of your true happiness, try to understand your true reasons for being in a relationship with a “married man,” and, finally, understand—do you really need this relationship?
If you don’t like being an object of temporary satisfaction of a man’s needs, act! Cast aside doubts, end this relationship, take care of yourself and your inner world, and finally discover that woman in you—independent, strong, attractive, and determined, knowing her own worth and able to achieve her goals.
Cheating on the part of the wife
There are also cases when it is a married woman who decides to cheat.
When deciding to take such a step, they are usually guided by several reasons:
1. The desire for new emotions and sensations that can color the gray everyday life with a familiar and dear husband in brighter shades. Sex with a previously passionately loved man no longer brings such vivid impressions as before. Intercourse has become like an everyday ritual.
2. The desire to end an existing union, accompanied by a fear of loneliness. A married woman wants a divorce from a long-unloved husband, and by cheating she hopes to lay the foundations for a future relationship, which after the divorce will lead to the creation of a new family.
3. The woman has not perceived her husband as a man for a long time; the relationship has grown into a neighborly-friendly one. The husband perceives his wife as usual, trusts her, and does not try to control her actions and deeds. As a result, from such freedom, the woman begins to freely start affairs on the side.
She uses her lover not only as a partner in sex, which brings incredible pleasure, but also as a shoulder to cry on—each meeting is accompanied by complaints about a boring family life, but in the end the woman still returns home.
4. Feelings for her husband are still there, but they lack a spark to ignite with renewed vigor. And the wife decides to cheat in order to then repent of her actions toward her husband and make him jealous.
Surprisingly, in individual cases such a risk pays off—the husband begins to be jealous and the spouses go through that stage of falling in love again, and when he tries to win her over, he controls her because he is jealous of all the men around him.
5. The woman lacks self-confidence and needs a lover to increase her self-esteem.
6. One of the simplest reasons is revenge on the partner. He has done something very wrong; perhaps he himself has stepped on the path of cheating. And the woman decides to pay back in the same coin.
7. Uncertainty in your choice, mixed with despair. This happens if a girl got married early without having intimate experience with other men. When family relationships become habitual and boring, the wife starts thinking about cheating—what if there is a man with whom everything is much more interesting?
And at that moment, a man appears nearby who shows interest. And she decides to “try” sex with another partner.
8. A woman meets an incredibly nice, attractive man. An irresistible desire to conquer him, to take possession of him, lights up in her. He accepts her actions, and she feels happy about her small victory.
9. A reason somewhat similar to some of the previous ones is the desire to change the habit of family relationships. Negative aspects have recently become noticeable in the spouse; the woman’s attention is focused on them, and then suddenly she meets his complete opposite! She is inflamed with passion for him; it seems that he is much better than her spouse.
10. The woman succumbed to the advances of such an unusual gallant, attractive gentleman these days. She simply could not resist him, fell in love, and now she cannot stop the events that have started to unfold.
11. Some married ladies, out of boredom, make acquaintances on the corresponding sites—at first for fun, and then they become seriously carried away by the resulting connections. It happens that at first a person seems interesting, but over time he gets boring, and the woman looks for new impressions.
12. The woman simply lacks sex. At home, with her husband, intercourse lasts a few minutes; there are no exciting preludes. But with a lover, everything is colorful and stormy; there are sparks in the eyes!
13. A woman collects negative energy and lacks a “lightning rod”—a person on whom she can dump the entire burden of accumulated problems, talk it out, discharge herself with sex, and return to the family nest calm and happy.
Women are loyal and affectionate creatures by nature. For us, our beloved is the closest and only one in the whole world. Wives decide to cheat only in extreme cases if their relationship with their husbands has completely deteriorated.
To understand what is really needed for happiness, you need to understand your inner world, desires, and goals. If you want to be happy, then you first need to learn to be happy on your own. If you have doubts about your partner’s fidelity, sort this out and talk frankly; maybe you shouldn’t live the rest of your life endlessly taking revenge on each other.
A married woman will never cheat on her husband unless there are really compelling reasons for it that she cannot get over on her own without dumping her worries on someone or finding some outlet for her feelings.
