If you’re thinking about having an affair, let me first tell you why dating a married man (or woman) will only lead to heartbreak.
The idea that dating a married man will only lead to a broken heart seems obvious—they have a family, and you can be the reason for its collapse. Between two people, a union was once created; they created a family, and you, like a foreign body, are trying to squeeze into it and win a place for yourself where you are not supposed to be.
Unfortunately, in this world of life and love, things are not that simple. Married people, for many reasons, have intimate relationships outside of marriage. Perhaps they are unhappy, insecure, lonely, or chronically unfaithful. For some reason, people get lost.
Although it seems like the cheater will suffer the most in this situation, it is often the one who chooses to date a married man who suffers the most. Don’t believe me? Then there are 5 reasons why dating a married man or woman will only bring grief. Read them, and you will see that my words are true.
5 Reasons Why a Relationship with a Married Man Will Only Bring You Trouble!
1. He will never leave his wife.
I had a friend who contacted a guy she used to go to school with on Facebook. They struck up an innocent conversation and agreed to meet up the next time he was in town for work. He was married and she was not. Unfortunately, when they met at the train station, their connection was immediately restored.
He had been unhappily married for many years, and she was very lonely after her divorce, When they met, a connection was established between them, so organic and easy that it drew them both in. A few days later they were in bed, a few weeks later they declared their love for each other, and a month later he said he was leaving his wife for her. She was so happy. All her dreams were coming true.
Two years later, my friend was still waiting for her lover to leave his wife. Her lover truly loved her; she knew that, but there was always a reason why he couldn’t leave. It was hard for her daughter; her son was going to college, summer vacation was planned, and the holidays were approaching.
“I’ll do it after…” he always promised. And he never did. Never.
I can tell you family after story like this, where a married man vows to leave his wife for a new mistress, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t want to hurt his children, make decisions that have financial consequences, disappoint his family, or damage his reputation in society. So he doesn’t leave.
And really, why would he want that? He has a hook, line, and sinker. You sit at home and wait for him, always available for support and sex. He has everything he wants from you, and he doesn’t give up on his family.
2. Life as you know it will cease to exist.
When you date a married man, your life will stop progressing in any meaningful way. Think about it: when you start dating someone, you are attracted to each other. You talk about your hopes and dreams for the future. You commit to being special. You meet each other’s friends and family and get to know your loved one. You take the first steps toward living together and eventually, perhaps, getting married. All of these are natural progressions of a healthy relationship.
When you get involved with a married man, things are different. Yes, you may have a great start – a memorable meeting, passion, sleepless nights, and believing that you have found the love of your life. But that’s where it ends.
If you are involved with a married man or woman, you will rarely be introduced to his friends, much less his family. You will not be able to take steps towards the future together. All your talks about a future together will be empty, because your person does not leave his spouse.
Life as you know it stops. But life is short, and every minute you spend waiting for someone to leave their spouse and devote themselves to you is a minute wasted. You are giving up the opportunity to find someone who can love you completely and give you the life you want.
3. You will hate yourself.
For a friend of mine, one of the reasons her boyfriend was so attached to her in the beginning was that she was a good match for him. She had a cool studio in town where she started her own business. She volunteered and made a huge difference in the lives of people with mental illness. She was a good parent and a great lover. All of this made him fall hard and fast for her.
More than that, she hated herself for not being able to leave him. Over time, she realized that his promises, although well-intentioned, were empty. She knew she was alone and angry and that her self-hatred was growing with each passing day, but she couldn’t imagine a life without him. She just couldn’t say goodbye.
She once told me that she felt like a shadow of the person she once was when she became a lover. She didn’t have the confidence to take the steps necessary to return to life. She was lost and empty. The love that had originally nourished her body and soul was sucking her dry.
4. You will always feel lonely.
The days when my friend felt most unhappy in her relationship with her married man were those special days – birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays.
She spent her birthday alone with a bouquet that had been delivered that morning. She spent Christmas alone, looking at the pictures his daughter had posted on Instagram of his family around the tree. The weekend was spent waiting for text messages. The nighttime hours were not for dating, but for watching TV. Alone.
One day, for his birthday, she bought him a new briefcase – a beautiful leather one, to replace his battered old one. She presented it to him with delight, but after he opened the gift, he informed her that his wife had also bought him a new briefcase and that he should use his own. She was devastated. All the thought and love she had put into the gift had been for nothing.
5. Everything will fall apart eventually.
Any healthy relationship is based on two things: communication and trust. An affair involves the absence of both.
If you are dating a married man, you are involved with someone who is cheating on his partner, and there is no trust. How can you fully trust someone who you know is willing to cheat? Moreover, he is already used to cheating.
Also, the foundation of a healthy relationship is communication, and if most conversations are full of lies and false promises and only lead to hurt feelings and disappointment, healthy communication will cease. Any relationship will be doomed from the start.
In other words, if your dreams come true and your lover leaves his partner, your relationship is doomed to fail. After all the pain and suffering, you are doomed.
Being in a relationship with a married man is a great way to ensure that your heart and your life will be broken into a million pieces.
Know that if you choose to go down the path of infidelity, your lover will never leave his wife and family. Your life will be put on hold, you will always be alone, and your self-esteem will plummet.
Moreover, if you ever get the relationship you want and get him to divorce you, then in the end you will not get what you wanted. Because there will be no more trust between you. He can always go to someone else or get himself a new passion.
I know that right now if you are dating a married man, he may seem like the perfect partner and the answer to all your dreams. But you must understand that all this can soon develop into a waking nightmare that you will not be able to escape from.
Please do not judge harshly; these are my observations and formed opinions on this topic. Perhaps for you, a relationship with a married man looks different. If so, then I ask you to share your opinion in the comments to this article. Write us your story.
