10 Skills You Need to Build a Lasting Relationship The desire for a lasting relationship is a driving force and motivation in many people’s lives. Relationships include everything from marriage to dating to friendships. There are couples in long-term relationships who seem to be made for each other. It has been proven that couples who stay together have some common traits, such as doing chores together, sharing the same values, and having the same social circles.
While some things are a given when it comes to a good relationship, every couple has the potential to achieve it in the long run. Our habits create our character and our lives. That being said, here are the long-term relationship habits that have proven effective in smoothing out even the toughest tensions between two people.
Open communication
Communication is the most important factor in a good relationship. Although all relationships go through rough patches, when two people in a couple can clearly and accurately convey what they want to say, it makes life much easier for both.
Many people in relationships somehow expect their partners to know what is on their minds. Unfortunately, most of us cannot read the thoughts or subtle cues that another is trying to convey to us. This can make the other person believe that they do not understand them and can lead to anger, resentment, and confusion. In a relationship, two people will have different ways of communicating ideas. It may take some practice for couples to achieve communication that they both understand.
A good way to start is to take a few simple steps to make communication flow easily, even if partners have very different communication styles.
- Eliminate all distractions when communicating with your partner. This includes the phone, computers, and television.
- Know clearly what you want to communicate to the other person.
- Tell us about the situation and how you feel about it.
- Talk about your feelings and needs using “I” statements.
- In conversation, don’t shift responsibility to someone else. Be responsible for your own experience by expressing everything using “I.”.
- Be a good listener. In parts of a conversation, allow the other person to express their point of view without interrupting and with an understanding of where they are coming from.
- Maintain the tone of your voice.
Think about your partner’s happiness.
We think that relationships are there to make us happy and take care of all our needs. However, happiness is more about living in symbiosis with another and taking care of their needs.
A strong relationship is one in which each person gives to the other and prioritizes their wants and needs. If the other person is as committed to you as you are, they will learn from you and prioritize your needs. This is the general way that good long-term relationships exist. This model works for long-term relationships between people who truly love each other.
Have time for love
Physical touch is one of the love languages. It is the best biological way to show another person that they are important to you and that you fully accept them. People who are in physically affectionate long-term relationships are much happier and more fulfilled than others. It is simple and easy to do. When couples first start their life together, they experience intense physical affection for each other. This stage of the relationship is something that should not be stopped and is what can enhance the chemistry and intimacy between the couple.
Generosity
Being generous is something we all know in theory. But what is it like to go out of your way to make someone else’s life easier and more enjoyable? That’s where generosity comes in. Generosity can manifest itself in many ways in a long-term relationship. It can be done by trying to make someone laugh, being generous with your time even when you’re busy, and giving small gifts now and then.
Presence
Being present in the moment is a subtle quality that greatly impacts interactions in a long-term relationship. Think about being with someone who only partially pays attention to what you say or do. Being present and there for the other person, listening to them, paying attention to them, and seeing them when they are home is what makes you attractive to your partner. It means you prioritize the relationship and put aside other things so that your partner can feel worthy of trust and respect.
Openness to change
A strong relationship is meant to last for a long time. Two people can never change while they are together. Couples who want to be together know this and even expect it to be part of their journey together. Couples who are in long-term relationships will understand that things will change as the two people change. Instead of feeling threatened, a good partner will accept this change as an integral part of their relationship and will grow with it.
Forgiveness and apologizes
Everyone makes mistakes. It’s an inevitable part of life, and it’s especially hard to avoid hurting someone who’s in a long-term relationship with you. Strong couples don’t let arguments and petty disagreements drag on in their relationship. People in couples are so important to each other that they can afford to admit their mistakes, ask for forgiveness, and own up to their mistakes. Holding grudges and “punishing” each other are habits that can be toxic to a long-term relationship. So people who genuinely care about their partner give themselves time to calm down and let go of their grudges with the optimism that things will be okay in the future.
Remember your partner’s best qualities.
No one in the world is perfect. Although there may be strong degrees of compatibility, there will always be something about the other person that you don’t like. The difference between ordinary couples and couples in long-term successful relationships is that those in long-term relationships understand the strength of their perceptions of each other.
A factor that determines longevity in a relationship is a positive image of the partner. This means that although the partner exhibits different types of behavior when a person constantly focuses on their good qualities and what is preferable in them, the couple tends to remain “in love” even if they have been together for a very long time.
Identifying and Managing Stress
Stress is something that can eat away at us, especially something as important to us as our long-term relationships. When we are stressed, it affects our relationships. Most people can unconsciously carry stress from other areas of their lives into their relationships.
A good start is to know where stress comes from and what causes it. Make a clear distinction between stressors and your relationship, and leave stress at the door when you talk and communicate with your partner.
The things you can do to manage your stress levels may seem small, but they help. These include meditation, getting enough sleep every night, eating well, and exercising. These things will not only improve your health but your relationships as well.
Be a team
Some couples tend to interact with each other as if they were on a battlefield. This is a pattern of behavior that does not make for a good relationship. When two people are in a couple, it is in their best interest to understand that they are in the same boat together. When one fails, so does the other.
Although conflicts may arise between two different people, couples who want to resolve them in the long term understand that they must solve problems together as a team. It is no longer about who is right and who is wrong, but rather “how can we work together to solve this problem that we have.” This behavior builds trust and friendliness between two people and allows them to resolve conflicts maturely.
