Do you know those couples in your circle of friends who constantly share their love with the online world, whether they want to or not? Who doesn’t just highlight their Facebook relationship status but constantly tell each other how much they love each other, how great they think each other is, and how happy they are to have found each other? Maybe you and your partner are one of those people? Then you can count yourselves lucky. Because those who share their relationship happiness on Facebook are also happy in real life. That’s what researchers in Wisconsin have found out.
Two researchers from the University of Wisconsin-Madison observed heterosexual college couples on Facebook over several months. In their longitudinal study, they examined the connection between the couples’ self-presentation on Facebook and the longevity of their relationship. They analyzed how the partners celebrated their Facebook relationship status and behaved and compared this with how long the partners had been together.
Celebrate your Facebook relationship status!
The clear result: Those who openly share their happiness in their relationship online also feel it more strongly in real life. If you share your connection with your partner on Facebook, you feel more connected to them.
In the study, which was published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, joint self-presentation was associated with increased devotion or deeper commitment to the relationship. This increased the likelihood that the couples would still be together after six months.
A strong self-presentation includes:
- that the partners published and highlighted their Facebook relationship status “In a relationship” or displayed it in the news,
- that they shared photos and selfies, perhaps even as cover photos, and
- that they left messages for each other on each other’s walls.
We believe what we publicly say about ourselves
The researchers explain the phenomenon by saying that we humans tend to internalize what we say about ourselves in public. This can also be applied to relationships.
Additionally, having an online audience motivates people to see their love lives from the perspective of their Facebook friends, or at least from what they believe to be their Facebook friends’ perspective. Presenting perfect information to their Facebook friends may make their relationship seem a little brighter.
Confirmation from friends also plays a crucial role; other studies have shown that the extent to which people tell each other about their relationship and receive confirmation correlates positively with the duration of the relationship.
How friends find celebrated relationships online
Beware of one-sidedness
However, if only one of the two partners posted on the other’s wall, this made the relationship more short-lived and less intense. The other partner probably viewed this as possessive behavior, according to the study authors.
The number of mutual friends and the number of posts made by partners on each other’s walls also showed a negative correlation with relationship length. The more mutual Facebook friends a couple had, the less committed they were to their relationship and the less likely they were to still be together after six months.
The scientists assume that partners with a larger social network are aware that they have numerous dating options. Accordingly, they are more likely to be tempted to check out what else is out there—in keeping with the motto: So if you’re going to commit yourself forever, make sure you can’t find someone better.
At the beginning of the year, another study found that people who post about their relationship on Facebook feel more connected to their partnership—but only if they post for the right reasons, i.e., not to make others jealous, for example.
If you feel caught out and celebrate your relationship publicly because you just can’t help it and it feels so good, that’s a good sign for the longevity of your relationship. Keep writing love messages to your partner, change your Facebook relationship status to taken from time to time, or have it displayed under your profile picture. If your partner is on board with the presentation, you’re in good hands.
