What is your idea of a long distance relationship? While in reality, it’s one of the most challenging types of commitment, many young couples today believe that being in an LDR sounds more romantic and interesting than its typical and more traditional counterpart.
Such perspective can be an optimistic take on a once fragile and usually avoided type of romantic relationship but it doesn’t mean that most couples have gotten the chance to make it work. While some have cracked the love code of making an LDR last, there were still others who failed and have been left lost and confused about what went wrong.
If you’re in a long distance relationship right now, the best thing that you can do is to learn from the lessons of others’ mistakes – but where should you start? If you want to know the answer, read on.
These are some of the top reasons why long distance relationships fail, and some inspiring tips on how to avoid them:
1. Emotional immaturity
Sometimes it’s not your fault that you’re not yet ready for an LDR. Most young couples don’t really survive a long distance relationship because of the lack of maturity to deal with the more complex and often unpredictable nature of this kind of commitment.
What you can do:
You have to know yourself and be honest to yourself: are you ready for a long distance relationship or would it be better to say good bye? Do you think it’s a kinder choice to let go and just have faith that if you’re really meant for each other, fate will find a way?
ALSO READ: 8 Signs that You’re Ready for a Long Distance Relationship
2. High levels of insecurity.
You have a lot of insecurities that often affect how you view yourself as a person. If you’re insecure, you lack the confidence to trust your partner that they will keep their promise and that they’ll stay loyal to you simply because you’re worth it.
What you can do:
Love yourself more and if you can’t do that, try to help yourself see your true worth. You have to believe that you deserve the love that others are giving you.
ALSO READ: 11 Ways to Overcome Insecurities in a Relationship
3. Impatience and negative thinking.
Negative thinking can greatly damage a relationship and being in an LDR is not the perfect place to choose pessimism over optimism. Combined with the inability to stay patient, you’ll get a complete formula for failure.
What you can do:
Remember that good things come to those who wait – and to those who know how to look forward to better and happier days. Again, believe that everything will be okay especially when it matters the most.
4. Fear towards changes.
You’re always stuck in your comfort zone and you’re too afraid to get out of it. You fear changes and you’d do anything just to stay where you are because you believe that that is the only place where you can’t get hurt. This attitude will eventually affect your relationship especially if you’re miles away from each other.
What you can do:
Learn to take risks and be open to new things and experiences, especially if you’re in an LDR. Everything will change and if you’re too scared to even just react to these changes, then you can’t really fully live and enjoy what life and love have to offer.
5. Inability to admit mistakes.
You don’t believe in apologies and you think that saying sorry for something that you did is a sign of weakness. In a long distance relationship, there’s a big possibility that you’ll fight often (most of the time, about petty and trivial matters) especially during the first months of it – and this is such a crucial stage that often leads to most breakups.
What you can do:
Let your guard down and just say sorry. It can’t be that hard to apologize. Remember that you’re not just lovers but also best friends. You can tell them anything and they won’t judge you or hate you for it.
6. Self-centeredness and selfishness.
You don’t value your significant other’s feelings and you always only think about yourself. What’s worse is, whenever there are problems, you always abandon ship and run away just to save your own heart from getting broken.
What you can do:
You are in a relationship and you should do your part as a partner. Love and take care of them without asking anything in return. Always put them first and trust me, they’ll gladly and genuinely do the same for you – because that’s what love is supposed to be.
7. Self-pity and lack of self-love.
You always think that it’s your fault whenever things go wrong. You have an extremely low self-esteem and you often think the worse about yourself. With this attitude, you always give up on your relationship even at the slightest trigger. You don’t value yourself that much and you think that your partner doesn’t deserve someone weak and imperfect.
What you can do:
Never forget that your significant other chose you for a reason. To them, you’re precious and beautiful – and it doesn’t matter if you’re not perfect. They chose you because they love you and they have found something special in you.
8. Lack of faith in happy endings.
You didn’t think that the LDR would work in the first place. Even in the beginning of it all, you already have a fixed image in your mind that these will all fall apart not because you don’t love them but because you’re convinced that happy endings don’t exist.
What you can do:
Just do your part as a lover, a friend and a partner. Let destiny decide because it’s so unfair to your partner if you’ve already given up the fight even before it even started.
ALSO READ: How to Fight for Your Relationship and Not Give Up on the One You Love
9. The absence of genuine love.
You don’t really love your partner and you’re just not strong enough to tell them that. You think that your relationship was only good because you have something to gain until it all changed. You think more of how an LDR can be complicated and exhausting rather than focusing on how to make it work.
What you can do:
Either you learn how to genuinely love your partner or you’ll give them the kindness to set them free. Whatever you do, do it because it’s right.
ALSO READ: 11 Signs of True Love in a Long Distance Relationship
By realizing what you did wrong and knowing what you can do about it, you’re one step closer to achieving a happier and a more stable long distance relationship.
You should keep in mind, however, that no relationship is perfect. There will always be obstacles and difficulties along the way. Stay strong and true to your promises to each other and nothing can ever take away your happy ending.
