Partnership at eye level – 9 tips for a balanced relationship

A balanced and happy partnership rests on several pillars. An important feature is the eye level, which produces an intellectual and understanding balance. A relationship at eye level has nothing to do with height, of course, but means: both are worth the same.

They respect each other, no one tries to dominate the other. But how do you achieve  this condition in your partnership  ?

What conditions are necessary for you to be equal to the man or woman by your side? A complete balance is difficult without work on the partnership and without concessions and insight. But you can use several tips to keep the love permanently.

An open, honest and respectful communication is as important as the knowledge that two people from different backgrounds and origins opt out of love together for their future.

Partnership Deluxe with these 9 tips

1. What makes a balanced partnership?

A good, balanced relationship is evident in equality and equality. Tasks and duties resulting from living together and possibly common children are fairly distributed.

You treat each other with respect, appreciation, recognition and tolerance. How these points can be achieved is explained below.

Ideal conditions for a partnership on equal terms are couples with a similar social and intellectual background as well as a similar professional status. If two people with very different conditions fall in love, the challenge is greater.

Nevertheless, even then eye-level is possible, because an important feature lies in your character. If you are basically willing to respect and respect other people, no matter what they are, chances are good.

No one feels superior or inferior, both are equal. Differences in nature and behavior also ensure that no boredom arises.

2. Love yourself!

Healthy self-esteem is an important factor for partnerships to succeed. You know yourself, what you can, who you are and what you want. Not to be confused with an exaggerated self-confidence that is sometimes interpreted as arrogance!

When you have found your inner center , you are well placed to achieve equality and equality in a relationship. The inner maturity is also crucial.

Do not worry, this does not mean serene, conservative behavior. Rather, it’s about acting well and making confident decisions. It is good if you accept yourself as you are.

Presumably there are some points where you are uncertain – maybe you are dissatisfied with your figure or you find other supposed weak spots. These thoughts are most likely unfounded.

Recall the following: Your partner has fallen in love with you .

In your charisma, your appearance and in your personality. So there is no reason to worry unnecessarily.

3. Use conscious communication for a common basis

Do not put yourself over your partner

If one of the two partners feels superior and clearly identifies it, the partnership is in trouble . Then there is need for speech and action.

The reasons for this can be manifold: your partner, for example, earns much more than you do. Then some people tend to act according to the sentence: ” Whoever brings the money home has the say. ”

In doing so, he / she may not consider that you have a job that is in a different salary class. Or you work z. B. because of the parenting only part-time. Then it is your job to open it for household and parenting to complete the day. You are not worth less!

Recognize and leave recurring conflict patterns

Find out where the same issues and conflicts are. Or even better, find out together! It usually does not do much if you know what points you are dissatisfied with. This insight should also have your partner.

Seek together the conversation, but without reproach , but remains as factual as possible. Phrases like, ” You always do … ” or ” You’re always … ” probably lead to incomprehension and retreat. Talk about how you feel and what you want to improve.

Who communicates desires and problems openly and quietly, probably has more chances to change than someone who often nags.

If the discussions are to lead to a positive result and, subsequently, to actual changes, the right time is important. Talk to each other, but not between the door and the rod, but choose a quiet phase.

Sometimes it even makes sense to arrange a joint appointment. That sounds like a business, but it’s very helpful in practice.

This way, with good communication, you can uncover and reduce ever-present issues.

Implement feedback and conversation rules in your partnership

Conversational rules are also tested: Let your opponent finish, do not interrupt, do not try to prove the opposite immediately.

Some of the tips for good conversation include: Sometimes it’s better not to respond quickly, but to think calmly. This reduces the often common ” attack tactics ” and can create a better conversation climate.

Maybe feedback rules will help you . Ask how your opinion matters. Are you understood correctly? Or does your counterpart perceive your utterances merely as ” complaining ” instead of as a desire for improvement?

Be open and honest with you and your life partner

Changes do not happen overnight. Often these are covert behaviors that only lead to a deterioration in the relationship in the long term . At the beginning of the relationship the criticisms are usually not obvious.

Fresh in love, everything seems in the best light. Only the duration often brings problems. The challenge is often that your image of the dream partner and reality differ. Here it can help you to question your ideal picture. Accept him / her as he / she is. If you can not do that then speak openly and honestly about it.

4. Give each other mutual appreciation and recognition

The magic words for a balanced partnership are: Do not condemn others and their attitude as it is. Meet your counterpart with appreciation and appreciation.

This may be easier to read than it can be done in daily life. But the key to the solution lies in these criteria. Maybe the principle will help you:

” Always act the way you want to be treated yourself “

Also good: if you accept differences and consider them as signs of personality. Simplification in all respects could lead to a partnership without exciting moments .

Who knows his wife or his man to the core knows, though, where he can pour in the case of dispute oil in the fire. But that’s no way to a fulfilling, happy partnership! On the other hand, if you treat others with esteem, the course is well set!

Even simple, practical means can help you.

Some couples use a kind of traffic light system: green is great, yellow means ” careful, you’re about to cross a border, ” and red means ” stop, here and no further, you hurt me, you butter me down. “.

Try to find agreements that you both hold. A 100% balance is unlikely, but if husband and wife are interested in significantly improving the quality of the partnership, common arrangements are extremely helpful.

5. Tolerate and respect different attitudes about life

Despite all efforts, areas can remain in which you can not agree. Your partnership is therefore not doomed to failure. When you realize what can not be changed, respect and tolerance are the ingredients of a recipe that can help you deal with constant conflicts.

You are probably much happier if you simply accept certain behaviors of your partner.

This does not apply to a reckless behavior that you can not cope with. But if it’s just a thoughtlessness, it’s worth it to take the matter with a touch of humor and not blouse it.

Tolerance is also a good tool for different opinions and views that do not allow agreement.

Example: You choose party XY while he / she is a supporter of the party ABC. It is one of the fundamental rights to make such decisions alone. So that the voting behavior is not an endless topic of discussion, you probably better off, if the topic is excluded.

Discussions are, of course, allowed at any time, because conflicting opinions and an exchange of views can be quite exciting and stimulating!

Remain respectful of each other.

6. Finds sustainable compromises in the partnership

But for other differences that stand in the way of balance, it’s worth finding a good compromise.

This applies, for example, to the topic of nutrition. You are a convinced vegan , while the man at your side often wants to have a hearty piece of meat on the plate? Here compromises are possible! It should not hurt him if he eats more vegetables. He can also prepare the meat side dish himself.

If he / she values ​​order and the other loves creative chaos, disputes are often pre-programmed. Here, plans for the distribution of tasks in the shared apartment can help.

You can not transform him / her, but you can find a common ground. For example: At the weekend, tidied up and cleaned together. There is a separate area for everyone in which he can implement his personal ideas of order.

Important: The compromise is not about one giving in and the other for getting out and about. It would rather be a power struggle, with only losers in the long run – or would you like to stay in a partnership if you are always disadvantaged?

A good relationship means that giving and taking are in balance. ” Enter ” you can also ” give in ” to interpret. That’s fine, if not always only one gives in, maybe for the sake of peace.

7. Do not be afraid to get help

Maybe he likes to show a typical macho behavior or likes to mimic the diva. You may have fallen in love with the model ” Rough shell, soft core ” or ” idiosyncratic, sometimes moody “, which in itself is not tragic.

It becomes critical when there is a risk that he / she alone makes all decisions . If one shows behavior with narcissistic features, the initial situation is also not easy. Narcissists tend to be extremely important to themselves and always want to be the focus. Also difficult are chronic know-it-alls and people who believe that they are always right.

That does not mean that such people can not be lovable. But it takes a lot of relationship work to achieve a balance. If you do not succeed in improving your partnership, external help can make sense.

Love can do a lot, but sometimes professional advice is better. Experienced therapists and mediators can provide you with the support you need for a fulfilling relationship .

8. Stay independent in your partnership

A balanced partnership comes when you maintain your personality and self-esteem. Get your self-employment!

You can do things alone, have your own hobby and have your own friends. The claim to always do everything together can paralyze a partnership. Two independent people fall in love and want to stay together – that does not mean that you give up your entire past life!

Perhaps a common circle of friends will develop out of two previous cliques. And if not, that’s not bad either. Then everyone will keep their former friends, and you will also find new friends that will suit you and your lifestyle.

9. The Inventory: How satisfied are you with your partnership?

It pays to take stock at regular intervals. Self-reflection and mutual reflection with the partner can help to identify conflict potentials and sources of dissatisfaction and to tackle them together.

Such questions may be on the program:

1. How happy is your partner, how happy are you? (on a scale of 1-10)
2. What can you change and improve to have a happier relationship?

Make a small ritual out of it, consider the ” relationship inventory ” as a game – if there is no compulsion, but rather the common desire to recognize difficulties and solve the project succeeds much better.