Here’s what micro-cheating is and why it affects everyone! A new kind of adultery. Even though it’s micro, it’s still cheating, right? .
Is it possible to cheat on your partner without realizing it? Yes, if you’re a micro-cheat. This new word refers to a very specific and sometimes unnoticeable kind of cheating.
Australian psychologist Melanie Schilling explains that micro-cheating is a chain of seemingly insignificant actions that together indicate that a person is emotionally or physically focused on someone other than their legitimate other half.
“Microcheating is when you secretly communicate with another person on social media, exchange personal jokes, downplay the seriousness of your relationship in front of your partner, or write them down under a code name in your phone,” says Schilling. “These are all signs of ‘covert flirting,’ which is something you do without your partner’s knowledge.
If you think you have something to hide, ask yourself why. The surest sign of micro-cheating is when a person hides something from their partner.
Melanie says micro-cheating is betrayal, and secrecy “adds fuel to the fire.”
“Other signs to look out for are if your partner is chatting with someone on instant messenger and quickly minimizes the window when you enter the room or congratulates an ex on an anniversary or some other intimate event they shared.
Perhaps he compliments other girls that he doesn’t give you or communicates with members of the opposite sex under the guise of business meetings, although no business is discussed there.”
While the line between micro-cheating and friendship can seem blurry, Melanie says it’s not hard to tell the difference. It’s the secrecy and deception that set micro-cheating apart from other types of communication.
Your partner may have a completely platonic relationship with a friend, and in this case, he does not hide it and openly talks about meetings with her.
There is nothing to worry about. However, if he starts hiding the relationship from you or lying to you about it, you should think about it!” Melanie advises you to listen to your instincts:
“Your intuition is not given to you by chance; it tells you when something is wrong. If something is not going well, if you catch your partner lying, or if he starts behaving uncharacteristically, do not remain silent.
It is important to behave objectively and rationally here, not subjectively and emotionally. Unfounded accusations and insults will not achieve anything.”
Melanie says to focus on specific behaviors and explain how they make you feel:
“For example, say, ‘When you spend an hour on the phone with your ex during our romantic dinner, I feel left out and forgotten. I’d rather you spent more time with me during those moments.’
Or you could say, “When you follow every message with hearts, it makes me feel like you’re dating her and not me.” From now on, it would be better if you only shared your online love with me.” Do you agree with Melanie Schilling?
