5 Signs You Are Incompatible. Do you have a strange feeling that it’s time to break up with your partner and move on? Don’t look for the answer in books and relationship advice; your situation is unique, and there is no single right solution. But if you notice these 5 signs of categorical incompatibility, it’s better not to prolong the dubious pleasure, break up and build your lives separately.
Before you start reading, try to abstract yourself a little and look at your partner from the outside, as if he or she were a stranger to you.
1. Different life values
Values are not a subject for discussion, much less for blackmail. Each person has their own, and they must remain true to their beliefs. What is most important to you at this stage—marriage, children, moving to Iceland?
Does your partner share your desires and aspirations? If he wants something radically different, it’s time to sound the alarm, regardless of how well you get along.
Of course, you can compromise and even accept your partner’s point of view, making his life goals your own. But this should happen naturally, without the slightest pressure from him.
2. Your partner doesn’t appreciate you
You do everything to please your other half: you cook his favorite dishes, select films to watch in advance in the genre that he likes and buy clothes in an acceptable style for him. And he takes it for granted—your obedience, readiness for everything and desire to please.
When it seems like your partner wouldn’t notice if another person or even a dumb doll were in your place, this is another sign of a toxic relationship.
3. Lack of respect
Disrespect can come in many forms. It can be a disregard for your opinions, needs, or desires; emotional and psychological abuse; unjustified passive-aggressive or offensive behavior; the desire to subjugate at any cost; and even a complete unwillingness to help in any way.
Yes, he may understand perfectly well that you need help around the house but do absolutely nothing. Or he may start living for his pleasure—vanishing in the evenings and on weekends, making his plans and not taking yours into account.
Another manifestation of a lack of respect is constant reproaches, suspicions, and ambiguous statements, including those accompanied by strong language. The offender remains unpunished and does not even feel the need to apologize.
4. Lack of interest in your needs
Think about how you spend your time together. Do you do things that are enjoyable for both of you, or do you often only do things that your partner likes? If you choose the second option, then he believes that you should automatically want the same things that he does.
In addition, he is sure that you value this relationship more and will do everything to make his life as comfortable as possible. This is another sign of incompatibility.
Another model of the situation. Let’s assume that you live separately. Your partner is waiting, for example, for a repair crew and will have to spend some time outside the house. And it is at this time that he suggests that you go somewhere because it is convenient, first of all, for him. Such a meeting cannot be called a date. Such a selfish tendency is observed in almost everything.
5. Consumer attitude
It takes time, sometimes quite a long time, to notice such subtleties in a relationship. But then comes the realization that you are constantly taking care of your partner, adjusting to his plans and mood, and he is not really even interested in how your day went or what is bothering you.
In this case, the “parent-child” relationship model is not excluded, in which you give warmth and affection, and he simply takes it for granted without feeling mutual responsibility. In reality, we do not demand the same behavior from teenagers as from adults.
Yes, a boy can be asked to look after his younger sister for a couple of hours, but under no circumstances should he do it the way his mother or father does.
Toxic relationships not only poison you but also significantly reduce the potential of what can be in the future. If you feel that you are not compatible with your partner, do not torment yourself and him; it is better to take a joint step towards a new life as soon as possible.
