When words of affirmation is your love language, but your partner is bad with their emotions, you have to start by being honest about your feelings. You can’t expect them to read your mind and know exactly how to treat you in order to make you feel special. They probably think the chores they’ve been helping you with make you feel loved. They probably think the random little gifts they buy you make you feel loved. They probably think they’re doing all the right things, even if you’re secretly wishing for more. That’s why you have to discuss your expectations with them — and go into deep detail.
If they have a different love language than you, they probably have no idea how often you need to hear those three little words or get complimented on how attractive you look. Your minds don’t work exactly the same, so it’s hard for them to predict what you expect from them.
When words of affirmation is your love language, but your partner is bad with their emotions, you have to give them credit for trying. Whenever they’re emotionally vulnerable with you, you have to give them praise. You have to reassure them you want to hear what they’re thinking. You want to know what’s been on their mind. You want to have a real conversation. You have to let them know they’re on the right track, that they’re making you proud.
When words of affirmation is your love language, but your partner is bad with their emotions, you have to be patient. You have to be understanding. You cannot get frustrated with them when they struggle to open up with you. You cannot start arguments about how they clearly don’t give a shit about you, simply because they aren’t showing you affection in the specific way you prefer affection.
When words of affirmation is your love language, but your partner is bad with their emotions, you have to see things from their point of view sometimes. During those moments when you feel unloved and unappreciated, you have to take a look at all the things they’ve been doing for you. Maybe they haven’t been vocal about their feelings, but they’ve been picking up the groceries you need and holding your hand in the car and spending quality time with you whenever they’re free
.
The way they’re expressing their love might not be enough for you in the long-run. But it should be enough to show you they do care. They just show it differently.
When words of affirmation is your love language, but your partner is bad with their emotions, you have to teach them the right way to love you — but you cannot forget to learn the right way to love them. They might not be reassured by your constant compliments. They might need something else in order to feel like you care.
