“Good people don’t necessarily fall in love with good people.” Jonathan Franzen
Attraction is the main reason relationships form. The moment we are attracted to someone, we start to see other aspects.
If the person we are attracted to is also interested in us, then most likely the reasons for their attraction may be different from yours. At first, it may seem that everything is the same for everyone, but in reality, it is not.
Attraction blinds us and makes us prejudiced.
That’s why we tend to look at the positive aspects of the person we’re interested in, ignoring the darker negative ones. We may be very attracted to that person and have genuine feelings, but the other person may be attracted to you out of lust or even lust. In the worst case, they may be faking it to take advantage of you, and you’ll realize it too late.
As soon as this radiation between two people develops into a relationship, over time the first emotions cool down, and then the question of obligations, devotion, etc. arises. For the relationship to strengthen and move to a new level, the desires of the partners must coincide; you must sincerely desire this.
Unfortunately, we cannot read minds, and we are not able to know in advance for what reasons someone wants a relationship with us. Toxic people are not always recognizable at first glance. Only with time do we understand how wrong we were about someone. In order not to harm yourself, it is important to understand why you are attracted to this person. Why negative relationships happen to you.
5 Reasons Why You Are Attracted Toxic People.
1. You think this person needs your help
Everyone has problems. But a relationship can never be based only on saving someone or helping someone. Firefighters, doctors, nurses, soldiers, and security guards do it every day; they provide help because it is their job. But does this mean that they are in a relationship with everyone they help? Of course not! In a relationship, you should support your partner, but it should also be mutual.
By empathizing with a person, you cannot exhaust yourself. You think that your partner needs your help, but in reality, he or she is just using you. After all, in a healthy relationship, there should be no one-sided giving. You should not constantly save someone. So do not think that entertaining this person is your responsibility.
2. You think you can change it
We all need a second chance. You think that if you love someone, you should be able to forgive, and this is true, but with one exception: if it does not happen often. Your partner once made a mistake and apologized; you forgave him. But if this happens cyclically (systematically), you should stop harboring illusions about him.
You can’t change a person unless they want to change themselves. Thinking that you will change them and make them better is complete foolishness. Don’t take on more than you can handle. It won’t happen.
3. Your partner makes you feel guilty for your actions.
If the reason you still love your partner is because they make you feel guilty for your actions, that’s terrible. They blame you for the misunderstanding and tell you that the relationship isn’t working because of you. If that sounds familiar, that’s not love. Your partner made you lose confidence in yourself, and that’s why you’re attracted to toxic people.
You are the one who gave him the right to judge what is right and what is wrong. Don’t let him be the arbiter of your life. You may make mistakes, but it is not your fault and your partner is not perfect either. His lack of love for you is what makes him do such cheap tricks.
4. Your colleagues are urging you to come back
You have to understand that this is your life, and you have to decide what is right for you and what is not. You can take advice or suggestions from people, but do not rush to follow them if you do not like it. If you do not want to go back to him, then do not do it. This is your life, your decision.
5. You think you love him
No matter how much it hurts, you still feel that you love them with all your heart. It’s not attraction, but rather the good times you had before. They are what make you feel like it’s true love. You can love this person, but if they don’t love you back, it will never be true love. Keep your memories where they belong—in the past. Live in the present!
Before you fall in love with someone, understand and analyze yourself. Don’t rush headlong. Remember that people tend to repeat their mistakes.
Are you attracted to toxic people? If this article is about you, please leave a comment. Also, feel free to share this article with your friends!
