Why You Shouldn’t Be Friends With Your Ex. IF YOU’RE TRYING TO REMAIN FRIENDS WITH YOUR “EX,” YOU’RE NOT ALL RIGHT WITH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH!!! According to the latest research, people who are friends with their exes are selfish and psychopathic. We’ve all heard about situations (or even been in them ourselves) when, after a particularly painful breakup, our “ex” offers to remain friends, and we’ve all wondered what that means and why they do it.
Well, just know that not only we but also professional psychologists have thought about this, and the conclusions they have come to may surprise us and even shock us.
A study conducted by scientists from the University of Auckland found a direct link between bad human personality traits (such as egoism and psychopathy) and the desire of that person to maintain personal relationships at one level or another even after their logical conclusion.
Why You Shouldn’t Be Friends With Your Exes. In other words, people who try to maintain friendly relations with their “exes” are likely to be prone to egoism or psychopathy.
Moreover, the study determined why people with these negative character traits try to maintain relationships with their exes. Surveys conducted by the research team showed that in most cases they do so for personal reasons (whether it be material gain, “friendly” sex without commitment, or something else).
That is, they maintain relationships with their “exes” not at all because they care or worry about them, but because they either want to use them for some of their own purposes or simply do not want to let them out of their zone of influence.
As the researchers themselves write:
“This study draws in part on the literature examining so-called critical success factors in business, and its findings suggest that post-breakup friendship has significant similarities to a strategy based on these factors, as it, likewise, allows for further exchange of necessary resources.”
It should be noted that egoists are especially prone to clinging to dead relationships—whether because of hatred for their partners, whom they blame entirely for the breakup, or because they feel like losers in the situation.
By not letting their ex-partner out of their social circles, they, as it seems to them, do not allow themselves to “lose face” and leave for themselves a real or apparent opportunity to return the partners who “betrayed” them.
The study also shows that people who remain friends with their exes often use them in some way for the resources they (probably) have.
Both egotists and psychopaths hate the idea of their exes loving someone else, or—God forbid—getting back control of their lives.
As a result, many people who fall into these two categories maintain relationships with their exes in an attempt to manipulate them or control them to some degree.
So…
Most relationship experts warn against maintaining friendships after a breakup for good reason.
As a rule, friendship with “ex,” even if it is offered to you, does not lead to anything good. So, let’s sum it up: if your “ex” offers you to “stay friends,” it is better to refuse. Believe me, it will be better this way.
