The person who broke you can never fix it.
Saying goodbye doesn’t mean you’re taking a step back in your life. It means you’re drawing a line between what makes your life better and what’s wearing you down and holding you back.
Remember this truth forever: a person who once broke you will never be able to help you. Nothing can be fixed… Don’t make this mistake. Don’t build illusions that he will be able to fix something—forget about what happened or heal the wounds inflicted.
Don’t hold on to relationships that have only brought you pain and tears. Don’t go back to that death trap just because you’re afraid of loneliness or can’t imagine living without your partner. Don’t forget: if the relationship isn’t working out and you can’t change it in the beginning, then expecting things to change for the better in the future is stupid and ridiculous.
Yes, it will be exactly like that: after the breakup, your mind will come up with thousands of arguments that you will not be able to live without your ex-partner. And that you probably broke up in vain… It really hurts, and you would like to be together, but at the same time, you understand that your relationship has no future.
Everything you run away from will happen again sooner or later.
You enter into a new relationship, and then nothing changes. As time passes, conflicts and problems only get worse. Here everything is together: humiliation, mistrust, still unhealed wounds from old grievances. Everything that you run away from and do not resolve properly is repeated in life again.
Sigmund Freud wrote about this back in 1920 in his book Beyond the Pleasure Principle. He called it the “fatal doom of repetition.”
This means that people tend to trip over the same rocks (each person has their own, of course). This means that when your “rock” is a certain type of relationship, you will invariably return to it again and again.
It turns out that your rock has a kind of “human name”. That is, a certain emotional dependence is generated. You, like a moth to a flame, are drawn to a certain type of relationship and people. As if the world converged on them like a wedge.
So we get older and the problems stay the same. Amazing, isn’t it? Why does this happen? The answer is simple: if you run away from the problem instead of solving it, the scenario will repeat itself countless times.
And it won’t stop until you think about it and rethink your reactions to what’s happening and the decisions you make. The number of mistakes will grow like a snowball…
Accept the changes and move on…
“We always need to understand when a stage has ended. When we refuse to accept it and delay saying goodbye, we deprive ourselves of the happiness of knowing the next pages of our lives that are yet to be read.
“To finish a cycle, to slam the door, to finish a chapter… It doesn’t matter what you call it; the main thing is to leave in the past in time what has long since ended.” – Paulo Coelho.
When something breaks inside, it will never be the same again.
When you are broken, when you are simply torn apart by pain and despair, you continue to try to get back the good things you had with your partner. It seems real and possible to you. The irony of fate is that uncertainty makes you think that it is better to go through life in the company of someone.
It is obvious that your attachment was unhealthy and illogical, but you can’t help it… But it is not! The situation can be radically changed if you restructure your perception and thinking. But you will have to constantly work on it.
First of all, you must reformat your attitude toward attachment and loss. A properly constructed strategy will help you, over time, break this vicious circle of searching for relationships that are based on dependence. You will immediately feel free—in your choice, in attachments, in love.
It won’t be easy because you’ve been living in a certain coordinate system for years. But you have to make a decision and start changing. This is something no one else can do for you.
Although I repeat, it will be painful and will require significant effort.
When you say goodbye, it doesn’t mean you’re taking a step back in your life. It means you’re drawing a line between what makes your life better and what’s draining and holding you back.
You start taking care of yourself and stop chasing after the crumbs of love that were graciously “thrown off the table” for you.
When you let go of your pain, your self-esteem will grow.
When you let go of everything that humiliated you and made you suffer, a completely new stage in your life will begin. This will help you find your true self, grow, and move forward.
Letting go of a relationship that died long ago means finding freedom. It means that from this moment you begin to build a new life. Everything will be completely different now; the main thing is to want it!
