Relationship Advice: How To Love Men Correctly Or 12 Rules Of A Wise Woman
How to love men correctly or 12 rules of a wise woman. Giving advice on how to love correctly is, of course, stupid. To love correctly is simply to love. But I still want to draw attention to the subtleties of relationships between women and men.
Love brings great joy to the life of each of us, but often our inner fears and unresolved problems turn the joy of love into suffering and daily quarrels, into showdowns and mutual reproaches. If it were possible to follow all the advice in relationships between men and women, it would be easy. There would probably be many more happy couples and people. No advice will bring peace and harmony if this advice does not come from within.
If in your unconscious you do not respect a man and in your inner world he is already devalued, then no matter how hard you try to follow the advice and be the right woman, there will be no result. I think the great benefit of such advice is to know them and better understand your weak points, to think about your inner feminine state, about your deep perception of men. First of all, you need to understand that in a relationship, external behavior is not as important as the internal state of each.
A man, oddly enough, loves first of all his state next to a woman. Depending on HOW he feels, his desire to be with her will depend.
If he feels like a man next to a woman, then he will try to do everything possible for her. A woman should also feel like a woman next to a man; then she will see a man in him. But the main responsibility for a woman’s condition lies with the woman. No one will take care of you more than you do. Alas, this is so.
To love correctly is, first of all, to take care of your internal state, well-being, and mood. Therefore, first let’s talk about us, about women, and only then about our men, what and how they love, and how to love them correctly. How should we take care of our internal state?
1. Don’t turn your relationship with a man into an obligation for yourself; don’t deprive your relationship of life and joy.
If you work 2-3 jobs, come home, and the whole house falls on you, then what joy can we talk about in a relationship?
You should not be exhausted, tired, or sleep-deprived; all this leads to your energy depletion, lack of strength, and loss of mood, which affects all your loved ones, and first of all, your man.
2. Taking care of yourself and your condition means being able to hear yourself and your desires.
Very often, wanting to help and please others, you forget about yourself. It’s good if caring for others really brings you joy and you get charged.
For God’s sake!
And if, on the contrary, it exhausts you? Then think about how to take care of yourself first.
Maybe correctly distribute responsibilities in your family, learn to say no, feel the boundaries of your personal space, and, in general, have it, both in reality and internally.
3. To love correctly is not to impose your love, not to smother a man with love, and not to demand love and attention from him.
A woman should take care of her inner world so that harmony and peace reign there. If you are overcome by the fear of being abandoned, of becoming unnecessary, you are afraid of loneliness, and you do not see joy in life without a man, then whether you want it or not, you will ruin the relationship and your life.
To love correctly is not to lose yourself in a relationship, not to try to merge with a man into one whole, depriving yourself and his personal space.
You should have your own interesting life without a man. Do not leave your hobby; do not stop communicating with friends and relatives; do not get hung up on a man as the most important, only interesting object.
Learn to dissolve in a man and not lose yourself, forgetting about everything and, most importantly, do not forget to return to yourself again.
4. Taking care of your condition means being able to enjoy the process.
When you cook, try not to cook for the result—just to have something to eat—but try to cook in such a way that you will enjoy the process of cooking.
Learn to enjoy everything you do. Every morning, spend 15-20 minutes on yourself, be alone with yourself, and with a cup of your favorite tea or coffee, tune in to the pleasant wave of a new day.
5. To love correctly is, first of all, to be able to communicate properly.
It is difficult to do this when emotions take over you and you are upset and offended, so it is important to keep your inner world in order to sort out your grievances and the pain of the past.
Free yourself from all negative and life-interfering attitudes, then the wave of rage and anger will not overwhelm you, and you will be able to control yourself in conversation and choose the right words.
When you are in pain, you escape from your pain by hurting a man, thereby burning bridges to further understanding of each other.
You need to be able to communicate with a man using “I messages”—talk” about your feelings: “I’m angry,” “I’m mad,” “I’m offended,” and “I feel unnecessary to you.
Then be sure to voice the reason why you feel all this and offer a solution that would suit you.
This way you will support the man’s masculine state, because “you messages” in which you blame him always have a very negative effect on the man, and as a result you get nothing, only more pain and resentment.
You need to be able to calmly and correctly defend your positions and desires.
6. It is important to pay attention to your facial expressions and intonation when you talk to a man.
Without even noticing it, you can send a man signals about your true attitude towards him, which is hidden deep inside you. Often, you yourself do not even guess about your true attitude towards him.
Relationships are not formed with a specific man you live with or date. They are formed from the attitudes you absorbed from your mother, the relationships you had in your family, and your mother’s attitude towards your father and men in general.
7. To love correctly is to be able to be open and speak directly, without hints, about your feelings, experiences, and desires.
Men don’t understand women’s convoluted conversations.
A confident woman will not hint; she will speak directly about her desires.
Very often, women, due to complexes and insecurity, do not know how to ask and do not know how to receive.
For some reason, they think that a man should figure everything out himself, sometimes forgetting simple things—ask, and you will be heard. You need to be able to voice your requests and desires directly, without hints.
You need to ask sincerely and at the same time always leave room in your soul for refusal, but not for doubts that the request may remain unfulfilled. And you definitely need to have patience. Each man has his own speed of perception.
Some people need a few days to fulfill your request and desire; others need a few months. You asked and forgot. If it is very important, then write him lists and attach them to a visible place, reminding him periodically.
A self-confident woman will rarely think about rejection, and if she does receive a rejection, she will not be very upset; at least she will not connect it with the fact that she is not loved.
When a woman sincerely asks a man, he feels needed and necessary. This supports his state as a man.
8. To love correctly is to be able to be grateful, to be able to sincerely thank and rejoice in what a man does. It is important to be able to see the good in his actions and not focus on the shortcomings.
Living next to a man, we begin to treat him as our property, completely forgetting that he is a separate person.
We begin to take everything that comes from him for granted, as if all this should be, sometimes not considering it necessary to say from the bottom of our hearts, “THANK YOU.” It is important not to say a routine phrase but to sincerely thank.
When we receive a little from people we barely know, we begin to thank them warmly, but we rarely spoil our man with our gratitude.
9. To love correctly, you should refrain from exposing your flaws in public and criticizing your mother and friends for their cruelty.
Firstly, you are not presenting yourself in the best light—you chose him and you live with him.
Secondly, you challenge his authority and turn your loved ones against him, thereby severing the connection you were previously enjoying. In difficult moments, when the relationship is cracking, it is unlikely that after your stories any of your loved ones will help you save it.
The only thing you will hear is, “Why do you need him like this?” This will not add any respect to him.
10. To love correctly is to know what love language your man speaks and what is important to him—your hugs or a deliciously cooked dinner, a clean apartment, or your praise, a small surprise.
This does not mean that you need to communicate only in his love language; you have your own (which you need to tell the man). It is advisable to remember this. Sometimes a simple misunderstanding of love languages leads to quarrels.
You can clean the apartment thoroughly, but he will feel unnecessary and unloved because you did not fry delicious cutlets like the ones his mother used to cook for him.
Or, on the contrary, you cook him a dinner of exotic dishes, and he will pay attention to the things scattered around the house.
You don’t have to try to be perfect in everything; you just need to understand when your man feels your love and care for him.
11. To love correctly is also to respect a man.
Moreover, respect has nothing to do with spiritual closeness. Spiritual closeness creates an attraction to each other without reasons or grounds. Closeness can arise from the fact that someone treats you well, but this does not guarantee that you will respect this person.
Respect is always based on real achievements, not necessarily material ones, but spiritual qualities that require no less work than material ones.
Every person has qualities and achievements for which he can be respected. It all depends on whether you see them or not.
Respecting a man means respecting the boundaries of his personal space and his desires.
Men are very sensitive to any pressure; they immediately begin to show stubbornness.
A loving woman will not put pressure on a man; she will be able to express her desires in a respectful manner, leaving the choice to the man.
12. The right way to love a man is to believe in him, not to doubt him and his abilities.
To believe is to see potential, and if you don’t see it and don’t believe in his abilities, then don’t take what’s not YOURS; leave it for another woman who will see in him what you didn’t see, and not because you’re bad or couldn’t see it; you just have a different point of view.
Why is it so important for a woman to take care of herself first? Because a man is very sensitive to a woman’s mood, even if he doesn’t show it.
Everything a man does, he does it only FOR the sake of the woman, family, and children, and it is very important for him to see the woman satisfied and happy.
If a woman is irritated and tired, then a man gets the information “I AM BAD,” “I can’t make her happy,” and “She feels bad with me.” And who would like to feel bad all the time?
Sometimes a woman deliberately demonstrates her dissatisfaction, wanting the man to think about it and begin to change his behavior or attitude, but the woman does not realize that her dissatisfaction and reproaches have the opposite effect—the man closes up.
