Relationship Advice: 9 Myths About Having a Love Relationship with a Married Man
If you’ve been stuck in this relationship for a long time or are just standing on the threshold, you should debunk some myths that you may believe with all your heart.⚠⚠⚠
For some, a relationship with a married man is a sore subject, for others, it is a new one. One way or another, this is a problematic topic that has existed since time immemorial: you, a married man, and his wife, whom you think he does not love. A love triangle in which two are in a legal relationship, and two are deceiving the third.
Cheating and cheating are ugly and shameful – everyone knows that. So why do women decide to have ugly relationships with married men, and married men decide to take such a shameful step as an affair on the side? She believes that he will eventually leave for her because he feels bad about his wife, but here he feels good.
He justifies himself by polygamy and by the fact that life at home has become boring and unbearable. But today we will not talk about him. Today we will talk about you, free, but for some reason choosing unfree men. Whether you have been stuck in this relationship for a long time or are just standing on the threshold – you should debunk some myths that you may believe with all your heart.
1. Having an affair with a married man is immoral, but you justify it with love.
Even if you have love, such relationships remain immoral. Stealing remains stealing, even if you stole for someone else’s benefit. The reason may soften the act, but it does not justify it. And if you steal for your benefit, then your guilt becomes heavier. Do not deceive yourself, you are acting wrongly, against human laws. And no love will justify you.
2. If you don’t see his wife, she doesn’t exist.
You are wrong – she exists. Every morning, every day, and every night. She exists in his phone and does not always write him nasty things. Sometimes (and maybe constantly) she writes that she misses him and asks him to buy her sweets. And he smiles and writes something that affects only the two of them.
They have their rituals, jokes, and hints that only they understand. They have a whole life in which there is not and never was you. His wife is, in fact, very dear to him. That is why every time he says goodbye to you and runs there, home, to her. To his wife.
So, she exists, and how? If you saw them together, you would be hurt by how close these two are, how much connect them. This discovery would surprise you. And you would also understand that she is better than him – after all, she does not deceive, does not cheat, but loves with all her soul.
3. He doesn’t love his wife, they don’t even have anything to talk about.
Here it is worth thinking and sorting everything out. Who did he propose to at the time? At least, he agreed to spend it. For whom did he buy the ring, choose the most romantic place, prepare the words, and get down on one knee? For her.
For you, he has not yet decided to do this. Hasn’t he? He has not decided to live with you every day of his life. He did not agree to see you in curlers and a dressing gown, to share fried eggs for breakfast, to go shopping, to choose a jacket for him and a coat for you.
To give the obligatory program on March 8 – perfume, flowers, and candies. Every day, every year – with her, for her, for her sake. A wife is his determination and measure of love. And, most likely, there is still a lot of both left. But this is only their business. You have nothing to do with it.
4. He loves you.
If you are sure of this, then reread the previous myth. Didn’t help? Then think about it more carefully. Why did you decide that he loves you? Did his words convince you? Well, it’s time for you to remove all his spaghetti from your ears. People don’t love with their ears, no, they listen with them. Through them, sounds get to your brain, where you must analyze them.
A man’s love should be judged by his actions, not by his words. Has he introduced you to his friends as his beloved woman? Has he introduced you to his parents? Does he care about your views on life? Is he open to the serious relationship you desire? Can you date him without hiding? After all, did he buy you a ring and say those very words? Or is he simply telling you how bad he is at home, how he cannot, out of nobility, abandon his wife and children, because he is responsible for them?
So, use your ears for what they were intended to be – as input devices to your brain – to listen. Or better yet, try not to listen to him at all, so he doesn’t exploit your ears.
5. You are satisfied with everything, you are a modern woman with broad views.
Rewind time and find the moment when you forgot about dreams of a handsome prince on a white horse. Find the moment when you decided that you could only settle for a little. When did you decide that the only is a myth? What about the heart? What about
that one, true love that is meant only for you and no one else?
What about loyalty, devotion, and respect? You say, there is none of this today? You are wrong!
Love has not gone anywhere, it exists at all times. The very same, the one and only, only yours. All yours. By filling its place with another man, with meetings on the run, you only close off the opportunity to find it. Free it!
6. He will finally leave for you, and you will live happily ever after.
Imagine that he did come. What would change? You would have everything he had there – at home, with her – with his wife. Only now you would be in her place. Nothing would change. Why? Because it’s not about her. Because it’s about him. About him – a lazy man who is not used to working for the sake of a relationship, but is used to running to the side for variety.
He decided to propose to her, but he did not dare to take responsibility for it.
He did not dare to be faithful, honest, and devoted. He did not want to share sorrows and joys.
He wants variety for his comfort. He finds another woman, others. But he will never change if he leaves for you. After all, only a person can change himself. Therefore, everything will repeat itself. And you get ready to be in his wife’s place when he decides and comes to you with his things.
7. Their relationship was already falling apart, and you were just a catalyst. And other nonsense.
Look at the situation soberly. If something is shaky and falling apart, it will fall apart without your participation. If it hasn’t fallen apart, it means it’s holding up. And you have no right to blow up a building that doesn’t belong to you. Better think about whether everything is holding up so badly if your efforts (affectionate words, passionate meetings, fishnet stockings, delicious dinners, etc.) are not able to destroy everything. How many years have they been together? 5? 10? Can a shaky building stand for even a year?
8. This is your love, and you don’t care that he is with her and not with you.
Figure out better who you love – him or the image you have molded from what was. Are you sure you know the real him? Do you know what kind of life he lives, what is going on behind the scenes? Do you see him arguing with his wife about the expensive cream she wants to buy? How he doesn’t want to go to the store for bread? How he
doesn’t want to help clean the house, but wants to lie on the couch and watch football?
Love is constant being together, next to each other. Every minute of their life together is his being. His reality. Everything else is a fantasy, maybe not a bad one, but unrealistic.
9. They are not officially married.
This is not a reason or a pretext, because he is not free anyway. My advice to you is to run while it is not too late.
Do you know what the main paradox is here? That his wife is most likely good. Perhaps if you met her in the pool or the gym, you could even become friends. She does not have to be bad just because he stands between you. Realize this and do not do her harm. Simply out of female solidarity. Simply because he is not your one and only, not your prince on a white horse.
Want your happiness, meant only for you? Listen to this advice. And one more. If a married man has paid attention to you, run away from him as far as possible. Especially if you like him. Run wherever your eyes look. Don’t look at him, don’t talk to him, but run as fast as you can. And when you finally meet your prince, who will love only you, will be loyal and reliable, remember this advice with a kind word.
