Relationship Advice: 5 Ways To Learn To Love Without Attachment And Suffering
How to learn to love without getting attached and without suffering ❤️ ❤️ ‼️ ‼️
Love without attachment is not a weak connection with the person you love. It’s just that when it comes to attachment, it’s easy to confuse it with another term.
This is not at all the necessary attachment in the mother-child relationship, which is built on an unconditional and intimate connection between them, which contributes to the normal growth and development of the child. When we talk about relationships in a couple, the word “attachment” implies a certain dependence, and this, as we know, leads to a loss of dignity and a decrease in self-esteem.
Such depersonalization, which sometimes occurs in relationships with a loved one, is not healthy; moreover, it does not lend itself to any logic. Sooner or later there will be disappointment, blackmail, emotional vacuum, and, as a result, pain.
We invite you to reflect a little on 5 ways to learn to love without attachment and to build strong and happy relationships that satisfy both parties.
1. Don’t be an “emotional addict”: say “no” to attachments that bring pain
Attachment in relationships is formed based on very specific and, at the same time, complex psychological and emotional processes.
There are people who, above all, need to feel loved. This is their need, but they easily confuse love with total control and passion with jealousy.
You need to understand that the one who truly loves is selfless; he does not spare the time and effort spent to give happiness.
– Love does not cause pain. Love should bring joy and harmony and promote reciprocity and personal growth of partners.
— For emotionally dependent people, love is like a drug. They don’t care about the side effects, the pain, or the slow process of self-destruction.
It is better, of course, not to go to these extremes. Understand that any dependence on someone or something depersonalizes us; we stop being ourselves and, in essence, turn into puppets.
2. Lack of attachment is not indifference; it is mature love
Elena is 28 years old and has been dating Rafael for 3 years. During this time, her life has changed dramatically, she has stopped spending time with her girlfriends and friends, and all her professional projects have come to a standstill.
She says that now her only need and concern is to make Rafael happy. Although she admits that sometimes she misses meeting friends and work (she is a journalist).
- She says that now her only need and concern is to make Rafael happy. Although she admits that sometimes she misses meeting friends and work (she is a journalist).
- Elena periodically asks herself if she is doing everything right. She knows that she loves her partner, but at the same time, she feels that this is increasingly depressing her. She literally can’t breathe.
- And what Elena needs to do in this case is not to leave Raphael, but to free herself from this emotional dependence and learn to love maturely.
- After all, loving someone does not mean forgetting about yourself. If you “drop everything” for the sake of your loved one, sooner or later it will lead to disappointment.
- That’s why you need to learn to set your priorities correctly and say “I love myself” and “I love you.”
3. Love has a limit, and it is called “self-esteem”
Yes, love has boundaries, limits, and insurmountable obstacles. And if you know about them at the very beginning of the relationship, it will help to avoid unnecessary suffering.
- The main barrier is self-esteem.
- If we are put down, ridiculed, or made to feel weak, that is not love.
- If our values are insulted and not respected, then this is an unhealthy relationship.
Self-esteem does not make allowances for anyone. It is the basis of our personal growth, and no one can or should violate it.
4. Be careful with egocentric and “childish” love
There are people who perceive relationships as a source of “nutrition.” They need them to fill the void and save them from loneliness. They are like children who constantly need love and, at the same time, are not able to return this feeling themselves.
Healthy and happy relationships between partners are like a dance, where they give and give, talk and listen, laugh and make laugh, take into account all the little things, and care and receive care.
Immature people make their personal needs common; they try to turn their emotional hunger into a universal one.
5. Become the person you want to meet
When a person builds his relationships on attachment and dependence, very often his way of thinking can be defined by the phrase “I can’t cope alone; without him/her I am nobody.”
But such extremes form an “abyss” into which sooner or later this person will inevitably fall. This abyss is a state of deep depression.
It is important to try to avoid this kind of emotional attachment and start the “reverse” path.
Instead of looking for the perfect partner, it is better to take care of becoming that person yourself.
- For those who love themselves first and foremost.
- For those who are not afraid of loneliness.
Fill your voids yourself; become a whole person, emotionally strong and happy. Rejoice, dream, and move forward…
These “components” will give energy not only to you but also to your loved one, and then together you will be able to create a harmonious future together.
