In the same situation, people act differently. This is especially true for difficulties both at work and in personal relationships. There is an opinion that people with different views on life and different behaviors can cope with difficulties together and remain a couple easier than people who are similar.
We believe that there is definitely a grain of truth in this, so I have translated an article for you about what kind of couples can be the strongest.
People are unpredictable. You try to understand them, guess their feelings, think about how to do it better—and still make mistakes. It seems that no patterns exist.
But a person has to base their decision on something, right?
The Myers-Briggs personality type system divides people into two camps:
- Logicians make decisions based on logic and objective facts after carefully weighing everything.
- Emotional people make decisions based on feelings and intuition and consider how this will affect them and their loved ones.
There is an opinion that the happiest couple is a logician plus an emotional one. Of course, in such a matter there are no obviously right or wrong options, and everyone decides for themselves who to love. Two logicians or two emotional ones can live happily their whole lives. But it is easier for a logician to get along and maintain a relationship with an emotional one precisely because they are different; they have two different approaches to the same problem. For example:
1. The logician takes into account the facts. The emotionalist takes into account the feelings.
At the very beginning of a relationship, a logician takes into account real facts: social status, financial capabilities, his free time, and whether he needs a relationship now.
An emotional person takes feelings into account. Even if all the objective facts are against the relationship, an emotional person, if he has already fallen in love, will do anything for the sake of future happiness.
By the way, most often people get together precisely because of emotional people.
2. The logician notices external signs of discord. The emotional simply sees that discord has occurred.
A logician understands that a relationship has gone wrong when he sees concrete evidence, such as his partner flirting with another person or a message from a stranger saying “Kisses, honey.”
The emotional person notices changes in facial expressions and tone of voice. He simply feels that everything is bad, without any evidence.
It is usually the emotional person who is the first to point out that a crack has formed in the relationship.
3. The logician notices the bad first. The emotional notices the good.
All couples go through tough times. But if both partners only see the bad, it’s all over.
When the logical person has given up and sees only nastiness, the emotional person mobilizes and begins to look for the good—those very reasons why the two of them are obliged to stay together.
The chances of preserving the relationship of a “logical-emotional” couple are much higher. When things have not yet reached an open conflict, the emotional holds on to them with all his might.
4. For a logician, conflict is a natural part of a relationship. For an emotional person, it is a disaster.
The logician recognizes that conflict is a problem that needs to be solved.
But for the emotional, conflict is a catastrophe; he will suffer and be afraid until harmony is established again. Moreover, all means are good to achieve harmony.
The logician resolves conflicts; the emotional runs away from them. Therefore, in cases of serious disagreements, the logician is able to do more to preserve the relationship.
5. The logician solves problems. The emotionalist waits for the logician to solve them.
If a logician has realized the problem, he takes action—gives flowers, bakes delicious pizza, and gives compliments.
The emotional person doesn’t even try to fix anything until the nasty feeling of fear and resentment goes away on its own.
That is why one person always gives gifts and another one receives them.
6. The logical person wants to be responsible. The emotional person just wants to be loved.
The logician agrees to bear responsibility; he feels comfortable when control is in his hands. He gets lost if he does not feel like the keeper of the relationship.
The emotional person accepts care very well. He gets lost if he doesn’t get the attention and love he needs.
Note to couples: If your partner is depressed, hug them more often.
7. The logical person wants to understand why this is happening. The emotional person wants to understand why this is happening to him.
When there is a conflict, the logician wants to know exactly what happened. He needs a comprehensive answer to the question of why the relationship is not working out. Is the partner having another partner? Or is the sex not very good?
The emotional person will constantly think about what is wrong with him. He wants to know what he did that made his partner turn away from him. It is more important for him to determine what his fault is.
A logical person, under threat of a breakup, will try to establish a dialogue and, most likely, will, while an emotional person will prefer to delve into himself.
8. The logician seeks the truth. The emotional agrees to close his eyes if necessary.
A logician is honest not only with others but also with himself. If he understands that he is guilty, he admits his mistake.
An emotional person does not always want to know the truth. Sometimes a sweet lie is preferable to him. For the sake of a relationship, he is capable of lying himself.
Yes, people are different, and there is no recipe for happiness. But perhaps in a situation where two logical people decide that they have nothing to do together and two emotional people finally quarrel, the logical and emotional people will be able to pick up the pieces and glue the broken vase together. Sometimes hard times just need to be lived through , and it can be easier for a couple with different views on things and different behaviors to do this.
