How to Deal with Jealousy in Relationships: 7 Helpful Tips Feeling envious of the unwanted attention your partner sometimes gets when others touch them and flirt with them can easily trigger jealousy. Sometimes, this is normal, because sometimes it is natural and even healthy to feel jealous. But when this jealousy starts to control you and your relationship, it becomes a problem. That is when it becomes necessary to learn how to deal with jealousy in relationships to save yourself and others from emotional pain and heartache.
Most of us don’t know how easily jealousy can destroy relationships. It starts subtly, but if left unchecked at the very beginning, it can easily turn into something toxic and catastrophic.
How Jealousy Destroys Relationships
Jealousy is usually the main culprit in the collapse of most modern relationships. It is a strong emotion. It is strong enough to make people act recklessly. Some people become clingy and controlling and get upset if they do not know what is happening and why in every single situation their partner faces. This limits independence and creates mistrust in the relationship.
There are several ways in which jealousy can ruin a relationship. Some of these include:
- Makes one or both partners insecure.
- This destroys trust and creates distance.
- It makes you want to be in control.
- If jealousy is not dealt with, it can even lead to abuse.
Consequences of jealousy in relationships
I think many of us misunderstand how powerful this emotion can be. It can make life hell. Understanding how jealousy destroys relationships and the consequences it can have on you, your partner, and your relationship can motivate you to work on eliminating it.
The effects of jealousy in a relationship can range from mild to extreme. Here are some of the main effects of jealousy in a relationship:
Trust is deteriorating
Jealousy is the most damaging. It begins with an attack on the trust that you and your partner have built over the years. Relationships are based not only on love and affection but also on trust. When jealousy enters the relationship, trust deteriorates as partners begin to doubt each other’s every move.
This leaves you in a constant state of unfounded suspicion, with nagging questions constantly eating away at your mind. The breakdown of trust is one of the main ways jealousy destroys relationships.
Limits independence
Independence is something that no one wants to give up, and no one should be forced to lose their individuality. Unfortunately, one of the most toxic effects of jealousy in a relationship is when it reaches a point where the person experiencing jealousy begins to limit their partner’s independence. This can eventually cause your partner to resent you for limiting their independence, which can ultimately cause them to break up with you.
Erases boundaries
A healthy relationship includes personal boundaries that both partners must agree to respect. Because jealousy is such an overwhelming emotion, it often leads to the jealous partner violating them. Constantly invading their privacy, not allowing their spouse to go out with friends, jumping to the wrong conclusion when they see their spouse being friends with someone else—all of these are toxic behaviors that stem from jealousy.
Puts your health at risk
Jealousy is a constant stressor. It leads to overthinking every detail of your life and your spouse’s life, wondering what your partner might be doing every second of the day when they’re not with you. Over time, this can lead to chronic mental health issues like stress, anxiety, and depression, including physical symptoms that accompany issues like headaches, high blood pressure, stomach problems, and more.
Being human means making mistakes, but it also means being able to fix them. If you feel like you or someone you know — maybe your partner — has been dealing with jealousy lately, it’s never too late to try to fix it. Just as jealousy can ruin a relationship in the blink of an eye, you can fix it with a little effort and support from your partner. Here are 7 strategies for dealing with jealousy in a relationship:
1. Acknowledge your feelings
The first step is to always acknowledge and validate your feelings. Trying to run away from them will only give them enough time to sink their claws deep inside you. Remind yourself that he has never done anything to make you feel suspicious, and tell yourself that you trust him enough to know that they would never do anything to break your trust.
2. Talk to your partner
Indeed, it’s not easy to admit and admit to yourself that you’re jealous, but it’s a huge step toward getting rid of such destructive emotions. Talk to your loved one about what’s bothering you and figure out a way to solve your problem together.
3. Don’t violate each other’s boundaries
Your jealousy may push you to overstep the boundaries your partner expects. You may feel compelled to invade their privacy and want to search their things, but… don’t do it. Don’t. All it will do is disappoint your partner because he or she can’t make you feel safe enough with them.
4. Develop self-confidence
Don’t jump to conclusions and skip the part where you blame your partner based on unsubstantiated evidence. Instead, focus on self-care. Meditate, do things that make you happy, hang out with friends, and work on building confidence in yourself and your partner.
5. Overcome your insecurities
Feeling insecure is one of the most serious consequences of jealousy in a relationship. Insecurity can make you paranoid that your partner will leave you for “someone better” because you feel like they might think you’re not good enough for them. Reassure yourself that your fears are unfounded and that no one is perfect. List all your insecurities, go through them, acknowledge each one, and try to overcome them one by one.
6. Be realistic
There is no good in holding onto unrealistic expectations. Be realistic and relearn how your relationship is supposed to work. Tell yourself that you can’t control everything, especially your partner. Because they are humans and deserve an independent life outside of the relationship.
7. Get a consultation
If you feel like your jealousy is getting out of control and you’re afraid it could ruin your relationship if left unchecked, counseling is a great option that can help you overcome your jealousy issues. You can even talk to a friend about it. You never know; they might teach you some tips on how to deal with jealousy in a relationship.
