Before you end a relationship, ask yourself these 10 questions. We wonder if we should end a relationship or just stick with it in the hopes that things will improve over time. Ultimately, it all comes down to asking yourself a few key questions before you make a firm decision. A little self-reflection and talking things through with yourself can go a long way in helping you make the right choices in your life.
Before you break up, ask yourself these 10 questions:
1. DOES THIS RELATIONSHIP BRING OUT THE BEST IN ME?
Do you feel like the best version of yourself or a lesser version of yourself? The right person should encourage you, support you, and feel overall happiness when you reach a new goal or just continue to grow on your life path. If the person is dragging you down, causing you negative emotions, or simply not meeting your needs and desires, you need to stop and ask yourself where the relationship is going between the two of you and whether you would be better off being alone for a while.
2. DO I FEEL HAPPY OR UNFORTUNATE MOST OF THE TIME?
Of course, no relationship is without its trials and tribulations, and often the struggles that people face together make their relationship stronger. You should still feel completely happy in your relationship, even when life throws you curveballs. According to Mark D. White, Ph.D., you should never stay in a relationship just because you feel like you “should” out of a sense of obligation—unless you feel happy.
“No relationship is great all the time; one of the reasons commitment is so valuable is that it helps us get through the bad times. It’s when less-than-great times become the norm and you don’t expect any great ones shortly that you naturally start thinking about alternatives. Commitments can carry the burden of maintaining a relationship from time to time, but they can’t do the job all the time—there has to be something valuable to the relationship itself to sustain the commitment of the partners,” says White.
6. DO WE FIND TIME FOR EACH OTHER?
We all have a lot of commitments in the modern world, and life can be quite hectic from time to time. However, no responsibility should take precedence over the love you have for each other. People either make time or they apologize, so if your partner seems to often do the latter, do you want to continue the relationship feeling like you are constantly being put on the back burner?
7. DO I LOVE HIM/HER, OR DO I JUST WANT HIM/HER TO BE THE WAY I WANT THEM TO BE?
Often we convince ourselves that people will change if we give them time and support, but honestly, people will only change if they want to. Besides, if you can’t love someone for who they are now, will you love them at some point in the future when other conditions are met?
Telling your partner the truth may hurt them if you are unsure that you truly love them, but the pain of a false relationship is much worse.
8. WILL I REGRET LATER IF I DO NOT END THIS RELATIONSHIP TODAY?
In five years, would you look back and regret leaving the relationship? Living with regret always leaves a deeper wound than leaving an unsatisfactory relationship, even if it means you have to be single for a while. Stay true to your heart and never stay in a relationship just because you feel comfortable or because you feel like you’ll let the other person down.
9. DO THEY ADD VALUE TO MY LIFE?
Do they enhance your life by adding color to it, or do they leave you feeling drained and uninspired? If you start seeing everything in black and white, then consider whether this relationship is worth sacrificing your happiness for.
10. WOULD MY LIFE BE BETTER WITHOUT THEM?
It’s the million-dollar question—what would your life look like without them? If you envision yourself as a happier, freer, more peaceful person, you need to sit down with your partner and be honest about how you feel. Breakups can cause temporary upheaval and emotional upheaval in your life, but you’ll feel so much better for following your heart and clearing out any negativity from your life.
