Being passionate is hard and, unfortunately, when you’re pursuing a woman, she’s going to expect you to pull out all of those aww-worthy stops. But what’s considered passionate nowadays? Throwing your coat over a rain-puddle might have flown in the 1920’s, but now, your girlfriend is more likely to laugh than swoon… and should you really be making a grand, public gesture of romance in your pursuit of love?
While some passionate comedies may try and steer you in the right direction, the truth is that most of these tricks are in line to get you a restraining order, not a fairy tale ending. If you’re trying hard to get the girl, and you feel like nothing is working, odds are you’re getting bad advice somewhere!
What “passionate ” gestures do women hate?
Here are 7 seemingly passionate gestures you should probably leave on the back burner.
#1 Trying to be the man of her dreams. Doesn’t the idea of you being exactly the kind of person she wants you to be sound charming and passionate ? This may work temporarily to get her to like you, but ultimately, this is a terrible idea for so many reasons.
First, you’re not being true to who you are. Second, you’re scamming her into liking you. And third, because of the former, she will likely end up resenting you for not being the person you claimed to be during the wooing stage of your courtship! Trying too hard to like everything she likes, or trying to force chemistry can come across as creepy.
#2 Buying her clothes. What better way to woo the girl of your dreams than to buy her some s*xy lingerie or a hot summer dress to show her off in? Surely the brownie points will just pile up, right?
#3 Not taking no for an answer. You know how in movies when the male lead is turned down, he proceeds to relentlessly pursue the woman of his dreams, often making grand gestures of love in the hope of winning her over? Examples include 10 Things I Hate about You, Say Anything, Just Friends, Grease, Can’t Hardly Wait, and, one of the worst ones, Love, Actually.
#4 Too much too soon. If you’ve just started a passionate relationship with someone and you are absolutely brimming with affection, best to keep some of those feelings to yourself! Women love to feel cared about–everyone does–but showcasing a world of affection, compliments, passionate gestures, texts, goodnight emails, and good morning emails isn’t a way to passion her… it’s a way to scare her off!
#5 “Be the mother of my children.” Believe it or not, many men think this line is a passionate shoo-in. Why? The phrase obviously denotes that you’d like a future with the woman in question and are serious enough about her to want to start a family together. This may sound well and good to you, but to her, it may sound like more like a prison sentence.
#6 Making labels. I’ve had guys do this to me–claim I was their girlfriend when we’d only barely hung out. This is not passionate . It’s pushy, presumptuous, and irritating. The bottom line is this: don’t assume anything! Unless you’ve asked your love interest to be your girlfriend and she said yes, you probably shouldn’t change your relationship status anytime soon.
#7 Buying her gifts… for the house. So, you live with your sweetheart? Well then, a happy domestic life to you both! Just remember this last piece of advice: if you have an anniversary or present-worthy occasion coming up, don’t buy her a home-related gift.
Even though you now cohabitate, she might not want prior gifts of makeup and event tickets to be replaced by a crockpot, a new lamp, or the best new Swiffer on the market. Home gifts couldn’t be further from passionate , and will make her feel like she’s become a domestic bore to you–one that’s not worthy of truly feminine
