We’ve all experienced people in our lives that are truly unreliable and dishonest.
It could have been an ex, an old friend, or someone you’ve worked with.
As we get older *and wiser* many of us get better at weeding these people out of our lives.
The result is the ability to focus our attention on healthier relationships, which bring us happiness and leave negativity behind.
Yet, you can do as much weeding as possible but still be left with an untrustworthy person plaguing your positivity and growth – yourself.
Whether you want to admit it or not, perhaps you aren’t as trustworthy as you would like to believe, and in any relationship – be that with a lover, family member, friend, boss or co-worker – being trustworthy can be one of most important values to uphold.
How to be a more trustworthy person
While becoming a trustworthy person isn’t something that can happen overnight, there are a few things that you can start doing differently in order to develop more trustworthy qualities. And in time, you’ll truly see yourself as a much more trustworthy, principled and dependable person. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and don’t even know it!]
#1 Be dependable
Do what you say you are going to do. It sounds so simple, but some people still cannot seem to follow through on their word.
I have a friend that constantly makes plans with me and breaks them a few days later, or just never follows up. I’ve been promised numerous girls’ days, nights out to Italian restaurants, and trips to the beach that we have never actually succeeded in doing.
I find it annoying to constantly have to second-guess if the date will actually happen or not. It should be simple though – we’ve planned to go, so we will go. But that is often not how it pans out with her.
I know now to take all of her plan making with a grain of salt, and instead just pull through with plans last minute if it seems like it’s actually going to happen.
But how frustrating is that? It would be much easier if she did what she said she was going to do in the first place. In order to be trustworthy you need to do what you say, and be reliable. Bottom line. [Read: 18 insightful reasons why you don’t have any close friends]
#2 Be honest
Telling the truth, and being straightforward, is at times, difficult to do. But they are essential if you want to be a more trustworthy person. A person that withholds information, or doesn’t say how they truly feel makes it difficult for people to trust them.
An old boyfriend of mine would never actually tell me how he was feeling, or communicate his needs to me. It was extremely challenging that I could never count on him to just be honest and let me know what was going on inside his head and heart.
His refusal to be honest with me led me to feel like he was betraying me in some way. His dishonesty was hurtful and I didn’t find him to be trustworthy. I second-guessed his intentions, and therefore, it complicated our relationship.
Sometimes the truth hurts, but if you honestly communicate with people, you are seen as more trustworthy because a person can feel confident that you aren’t withholding something important. [Read: 7 reasons why you’re a liar and 7 ways to stop and change yourself]
#3 Keep a promise, no matter how small
When you promise someone something, you must honor that, no matter how small you perceive the promise to be. If you promised you would watch a friend’s football match, do it. Even if it means two hours of possibly the most boring game, order a beer, eat some nuts and make the most it. It might mean more to that person than you understand.
As well, most people deal with a lot of tough stuff in their lives, and often, don’t have enough decent relationships to feel secure in sharing. If someone confides something in you, don’t expose them *unless it is truly bad for their well-being, or life threatening*.
Keep the promise, and sit on the information they’ve shared with you. They will respect you immensely if you don’t go start spreading information that they’ve specifically asked you not to.
Most times, people just need to entrust things with other people, to feel connected. To be more trustworthy, be the reliable and honest person that can keep a secret safe. [Read: How to get over trust issues in your relationship]
#4 Have integrity
Trustworthy people hold strong moral principles, and stand by them. If you are constantly wavering on what values you deem important, and therefore bounce all over the place, it translates into dishonesty and unreliability.
For example, if loyalty is an essential moral that you find extremely important in a person, then you must be loyal in your own actions. Basically, you must practice what you preach.
#5 Stop gossiping
This suggestion is fairly straightforward, if you want to be a more trustworthy person, stop talking poorly behind people’s backs.
We aren’t in high school anymore, if you have a concern or an issue with someone, be mature enough to address them face-to-face. If it seems so petty that you wouldn’t want to speak to them about it directly, then you probably shouldn’t even be talking about it in the first place.
Gossiping isn’t just speaking poorly about people. It’s generally chatting about useless information. It doesn’t matter how many diets a co-worker has tried and failed. That should not be a topic of conversation over lunch. Truthfully, your co-worker’s eating habits are none of your business.
Instead, try discussing something intelligent, or something that could make a difference in our world. Rather than gossiping, why not have a discussion about why the government should invest in renewable energy, or spend less on their military agenda and more on social programs. [Read: 25 memorable life lessons to change and perfect your life]
How else to be a more trustworthy person
While these are a few key things you can focus on to be a more trustworthy person, there are other small things that you can do as well.
For instance, if you spend more time with good people, you will be less inclined to do untrustworthy things such as gossip, and go back on your word because you will be surrounded with people that won’t tolerate that.
If you hang out with positive people that are also reliable and honest, you are more likely to reflect those behaviors.
As well, do some homework and find out what exactly people think about you. You can candidly ask people in your life how trustworthy they perceive you to be. Be careful, you might get some brutally honest answers. But, even if you do get some harsh feedback, take that and go with it.
The best that we can do is learn from our mistakes and try to improve ourselves as individuals. Being a trustworthy person is difficult, but it is often the kind of character that other people want to be around and aspire to be.
