The INFJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Judging) personality type is known for its deep empathy, emotional intelligence, and strong intuition. As the rarest of the 16 Myers-Briggs personality types, INFJs make up only about 1-2% of the population—and unfortunately, their unique qualities can make them prime targets for narcissists.
Narcissists are drawn to INFJs because of their compassionate nature, deep emotional insight, and willingness to help others. But why do INFJs so often find themselves entangled with manipulative, toxic personalities? Here are three key reasons.
1. INFJs Are Natural Empaths—And Narcissists Feed on Empathy
INFJs are highly empathetic, often sensing other people’s emotions before they even express them. They are deeply compassionate and have a strong desire to heal and help others. This makes them particularly attractive to narcissists, who thrive on receiving attention, validation, and emotional support.
Why This Attracts Narcissists:
- Narcissists seek constant admiration and see INFJs as a never-ending source of emotional support.
- INFJs feel responsible for “fixing” people, making them easy prey for narcissists who play the victim.
- INFJs are forgiving and patient, meaning they’ll give narcissists multiple chances even after being mistreated.
The Danger:
A narcissist will exploit an INFJ’s empathy, making them feel guilty for setting boundaries. INFJs might overextend themselves trying to heal the narcissist’s wounds, only to be emotionally drained in the end.
2. INFJs Are Deeply Loyal—Even to the Wrong People
Once an INFJ emotionally invests in a relationship, they take it seriously. They are deeply loyal to their loved ones, often prioritizing relationships over their own well-being. Unfortunately, narcissists weaponize this loyalty, trapping INFJs in a toxic cycle of emotional manipulation.
Why This Attracts Narcissists:
- INFJs don’t give up on people easily, which means narcissists can keep them hooked for a long time.
- INFJs value deep, meaningful relationships, making them reluctant to accept that someone is toxic.
- INFJs want to see the best in people, even when the red flags are obvious.
The Danger:
Narcissists use love-bombing to initially charm an INFJ, creating an intense emotional bond. Once the INFJ is fully committed, the narcissist switches to manipulation, knowing the INFJ will struggle to walk away.
3. INFJs Are Private and Internalize Their Pain
INFJs are introverted and private, often keeping their struggles to themselves. They prefer deep one-on-one connections over large social circles, which makes it harder for others to notice when they’re being manipulated. Narcissists take advantage of this secrecy, isolating the INFJ further.
Why This Attracts Narcissists:
- INFJs tend to suffer in silence, making it easier for narcissists to maintain control.
- INFJs struggle to open up about their pain, meaning they might not seek help from friends or family.
- INFJs are highly intuitive but often doubt their own feelings, allowing narcissists to gaslight them.
The Danger:
A narcissist will gaslight an INFJ into believing their feelings are wrong or exaggerated. Over time, the INFJ might question their own reality, making it harder for them to escape the toxic relationship.
How INFJs Can Protect Themselves from Narcissists
If you’re an INFJ, you deserve relationships that uplift you, not drain you. Here’s how to protect yourself:
✅ Trust Your Intuition – If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Your gut instinct is powerful.
✅ Set Firm Boundaries – Narcissists will push limits, so don’t be afraid to say “no.”
✅ Stop Trying to “Fix” People – You can support others, but their healing is not your responsibility.
✅ Surround Yourself with Genuine People – Seek relationships that are reciprocal and healthy.
✅ Seek Support – Don’t isolate yourself. Talk to trusted friends or a therapist for guidance.
Final Thoughts
INFJs are deeply loving, intuitive, and emotionally intelligent—qualities that make them magnetic to narcissists. But being kind doesn’t mean being a doormat. By recognizing these toxic patterns, INFJs can break free from manipulative relationships and find the authentic love and respect they truly deserve.
Are you an INFJ who has dealt with a narcissist before? Share your experience in the comments!
