Like, OMG. What is her issue? Honestly, friends can be more trouble than they are worth. The best of friends give a hoot about you, your feelings, and, yes, your relationships with other people. The bad friends, will stab you in the back at every chance they get. Then there are the jealous ‘friends’. These are the ones to watch out for because they will trash you, hit on your man, and do all sorts of wacky things just to be the center of attention and because, goodness forbid, you might have actually found happiness in a new relationship that doesn’t involve them.
It is hard deciding when a good friendship can be saved or when it is time to end it. A general rule of thumb is to take a look at the situation from her point of view. Do you feel that maybe she feels threatened by the relationship you have with your boyfriend? Would giving her some special girls time help show her that she is just as important to you? If there is a way to reconcile a good friendship, then do it.
However, if she is suddenly hitting on your man or spreading awful rumors about you, then maybe she was never a real friend after all. Would you do that to her if she started dating someone new? Hopefully not, so she shouldn’t be doing it to you. You could try talking to her and telling her how her behavior makes you feel, but if she acts like it was no big deal or that your feelings don’t matter, then it is time to say goodbye.
14 Put downs
Oh snap! “Listen,” you say to your man and your best friend, “I just have to run back into the house real quick. I forgot my phone.” Your friend rolls her eyes and says to your man, “She’d forget her own head if it wasn’t attached.” As the night progresses, your so-called friend has managed to put you down more times than you have fingers to count on. What is her problem and why is she doing this to you? Obviously, she is jealous. She probably feels threatened by your relationship and is trying to scare him away. You need to sit down and have a talk with her about how she is making you feel. Best friends don’t put each other down and if she continues, you will have to let her go.
13 Date crashing
“I can’t believe it,” you tell your friend over the phone, “that movie I wanted to see premiers tonight and he actually wants to take me to go see it!” You tell her you have to start getting ready now for the 9 o’clock showing. Everything is going perfect. Your man picks you up on time, you look drop dead gorgeous, and as the two of you get in line for the movie, your friend shows up. This isn’t the first time she’s crashed one of your dates, and you are starting to get annoyed with her. The easiest solution to this problem? Stop telling her about your date plans. You can tell her all about it afterwards, if you want, but until she understands boundaries, you are best keeping future events to yourself.
12 Thinks you should play the field
“Come on, girl! Look at him. He’s cute. Better looking than the one you got. Take him out for a test spin. Your boyfriend will never find out, and if he does, so what?” With a friend like this, who needs enemies, right? The fact is, if you give in to what your friend wants you to do, you may never find out if your boyfriend is truly that man of your dreams. Besides, if that other guy is so great, maybe your friend should chase after him. That way, the two of you could double date and she can stop worrying so much about your love life.
11 Spreads rumors
Your best friend has been acting weird ever since you started going steady with your new beau. You are kind of hurt by her aloofness, but figure she’d tell you what’s been bugging her when she is ready. Then you get a call from a co-friend. “You won’t believe what Shelly’s been saying about you,” your co-friend blurts. You quickly learn that the person you thought was your friend is little more like an enemy. What do you do? You can start by calling up your friend and asking her out on a friends date. Have a talk with her about what you learned and tell her how much she has hurt you. You can try to get to the root of the problem, but then again, a friend that has your back would never have said those things in the first place. It’s probably time to move on and seek out a new group of friends.
10 Suddenly wants to hang out more.
Your phone rings. It’s your friend again. She knows you and your boyfriend are planning on going to the movies tonight. I mean, you just told her all about it three hours ago when she called. What does she want now? You decide to let the phone go to voicemail and you finish getting ready for the movie date. Your man is sitting out on your sofa, flicking through the tv stations when there is a knock on your front door. Who is it? Why, it’s your best friend, inviting herself to the movies with you and your man. How nice, right? Your friend has never spent this much time with you before, and now you can’t seem to get away from her. Solution? Sit down and have a talk with her. Make plans for girl time and keep her out of the loop about when and where you will be spending time with your man. Also if you do have a friend who behaves this way, you might want to consider dropping her from your friends circle, you do not need these headaches especially from the people that you open your life up to.
9 Says he’s not good enough
“Like OMG! What are you doing with him? He’s so rude and I don’t like the way he looks at me when you aren’t in the room. You can do so much better, girl. Get rid of him.” At some point in your life, a friend has said this or something similar to you. Your friend does not like your man and she just won’t let up about it. You begin to doubt your own choice in a man and start to think that maybe she is right. Of course, she could be right in offering you her honest opinion but if everyone else seems to think he is your perfect match, do take her words with a grain of salt. Your best bet? Put that friend on the back burner for a bit and see where the relationship takes you.
8 She refuses to help you
Oh, for goodness sake. You just locked yourself out of your apartment and you have to be at your boyfriend’s place in an hour. It’s a good thing you have your cell phone on you. You call your friend, because the two of you are so close, you have each others apartment keys for emergencies. “Hey, hun,” you say to her, “could you swing over here and drop off my key? Yeah, I locked myself out and I have to be at my man’s place in an hour.” You hear her turn down the TV in the background. “Yeah, um, I can’t get there right now. I’m at the mall. I can be there in two hours or so.” You know she’s sitting in her apartment watching TV, but what can you do? Ever since you’ve started dating, she’s stopped helping you out. In fact, she’s also stopped asking you for help, too. There is a distance between the two of you and if you are going to save your friendship, the two of you will need to sit down and talk it out.
7 Flirts with your boyfriend
You excuse yourself from the two people you adore most in the world and go into the kitchen to look for snacks. You are so happy that your friend and boyfriend are getting along so well, but when you return to the living room, it looks like your friend is getting along too well with him. She is practically sitting on his lap, cooing sweet stupids at him. Who the heck does this? Seriously. If she is really your friend, she wouldn’t be flirting with your boyfriend. Your best bet in this situation is to sit down and have a chat with your friend to understand her point of view, you do not want to jump to conclusions but if your gut is telling you something is wrong, definitely inquire about it.
6 Bad relationship advice.
If you feel as though you can’t trust your friend’s advice then why is she still in your life? If you feel as though your bestie is always steering your down the wrong path then it’s time to either fess up and tell her how you feel or end the friendship. If she is giving you advice that your other friends can’t agree with then the odds are your gut feelings are right and you have a friend that may be trying to sabotage your relationship.
5 Starts to copy you
Suddenly, it is like you have a twin. First, you went and got your hair styled. Two days later, your best friend showed up with the same hairstyle, hair color, and everything. It was creepy. When the two of you went jean shopping. She bought the same style jeans as you and even bought a purse in the department store that was just like the one you own. Your boyfriend is starting to notice. What the hell is going on here? You want your old best friend back, not a little sister from the planet Hades. Be up front with her and encourage her to do her own thing. She doesn’t have to be exactly like you to fit into your relationship with your man. Tell her to be herself and if that fails, put some space between her and yourself.
4 Competition
You invited your friend and boyfriend over for a backyard hangout. You got the food all planned out, from the gourmet burgers you bought at the butcher stand to everyone’s favorite snacks. It’s going to be a nice, simple meal while hanging out with the two people you love most in the world, or is it? Your boyfriend shows up first and is so happy with the idea of sitting out back and eating hamburgers. How’d you get so lucky with a guy so easy to please? But then SHE shows up, her arms and two totes filled with snacks and desserts she made from scratch. So much for your simply hangout. You’ve just been outdone by your friend. Sure, she may just be playing super nice, but you are hurt that she would upstage you by going all Betty Crocker on you. Be the better person, thank her for all her hard work and then consider keeping the little food parties just between you and your beau.
3 Diverts your attention away from him.
Your boyfriend starts telling you and your friend a funny story about his football coach in high school when all of a sudden, you friend interrupts him. “Oh my god! That reminds me of the time, you remember, when we were in the girls bathroom and there was this drunk guy in there. OMG! We were just dying. I never saw you run so fast. That reminds me, we need to get over to that little gourmet shop we saw…” You feel yourself getting pulled into her rabble. Your boyfriend? The poor guy is just sitting there, ignored. If you want to keep your man from feeling like the third wheel, work on drawing him into the conversations. That way, he gets to participate and your friend gets the hint that you and your beau are a united item, not to be drawn apart.
2 Makes faces when you kiss your boyfriend.
You bring your man along for a lady’s night out with your friends. Things are going great. The music is loud, the drinks are good, and everyone is laughing and having fun, but as you lean in close to your man and give him a kiss, you see your best friend on the other side, rolling her eyes at the two of you and making the “that’s nasty” face. What the heck is her problem? It is obvious she is jealous and the two of you will need to have a talk. If she is a true friend, your happiness and desire to be in a relationship should matter to her.
1 Mentions your past boyfriends to him.
She laughs and puts her hand on his shoulder. “You should have seen the time when she brought over this hippy looking guy and I was like, ‘You better not let him sit on the sofa.’ Who knows how many diseases or bed bugs that guy had on him. And, oh! You should have heard them in the bedroom that night.” And on and on she goes, spilling the beans on all of your previous dates. Of all the dirty, rotten things a so-called friend can do, this has got to be the worst. What should you do? Excuse your friend and let your man know that she gets jealous easily. If she hasn’t already scared the poor guy off, then it is time to keep the two of them as far away from each other as possible.
