Let’s be honest, no one likes pushy people that just don’t know when to quit. Dealing with people like that is difficult and we soon become overwhelmed with their behavior.
It’s okay to make the first move to show someone you’re interested in them. However, there is a thin line between doing that and coming on too strong when you’re trying to win someone over.
There should be boundaries for everything, even flirting. If you’re coming on too strong to someone you have just met, you will only scare them away.
When you have a crush on someone, even if you’re sure that person is your soulmate, you need to calm down and keep it cool. Don’t show your feelings to them immediately and don’t rush anything.
You don’t want to seem too desperate, right? Then stop obsessing about the person you like, be patient, and let time do its thing.
If you want to know whether you’re coming on too strong and too fast, the ‘follow-up text’ is full of warning signs that you should never ignore.
1. Constant bragging
Nobody likes a show-off, but we all do it sometimes. It’s not a bad thing to brag about things every now and then, but we have to have limits and boundaries that we shouldn’t cross.
If you constantly brag about yourself, no one will believe you. You have to let other people do the bragging for you.
How are you going to do that?
Well, be nice and treat people fairly, try to be the best in what you do, and do good deeds to others, without expecting anything in return.
Bragging too much and constantly talking about yourself, is not a way to impress your crush. It will only make them think that you’re desperate.
You don’t have to draw attention to your qualities or to something you’ve done. The right person will know how to appreciate you. Be yourself and allow them to get to know you.
Most of us would agree that people who like to brag are generally not quite as accomplished as they want us to think.
If you boast about how good you are or how much better you are than other people, your crush will just see you as a person full of insecurities.
Everyone has some insecurities, but how we manage them is what counts. Covering your insecurities up by bragging about some of your qualities will never be good for your relationship.
You have to show your true self to the other person because you won’t be able to pretend forever and of course, the other person deserves to see the real you.
Coming on too strong by bragging (especially when you’ve just met someone) will make the other person form a negative opinion about you. They will see you as a deeply insecure and arrogant person.
2. Over-texting
It’s great that you made the first move and asked them for their phone number because it shows them that you’re confident. Now you have to be careful when texting them.
You should never be the one that always calls or texts first all the time. It’s normal that you want to be in touch with your crush 24/7 and that you want to know where they are all the time.
However, you have to keep calm. If you come on too strong by texting them or calling them a lot, you’ll bore them or they’ll think that you’re a creep.
Even if you’ve met someone you like on a dating site and texting is your only form of communication for now, you shouldn’t text them all the time.
They might think that your life is boring and that you are sitting in front of your computer all day long.
If you haven’t got a reply, don’t keep texting until they respond. Maybe they don’t have time to reply instantly or maybe they don’t like you and they don’t want to continue texting with you.
Also, don’t write them novels. I get that you want to get to know your crush, but you should leave something to talk about on a date.
You should keep in mind that some people don’t like texting quite as much as you do, and some people are shy and don’t want to talk much when you first meet them.
If you come on too strong with lots of texts and calls, you’ll only drive them away.
3. Having “the talk” too soon
If you have just started a new relationship, you have to spend some time with that person and get to know them before you start talking about the future.
If you’re on a first date and you say that you would like to define the relationship, your date will think that you are weird.
You have to wait for the right moment to talk with your partner about defining your relationship. The beginning of a relationship is never the right time.
The other person will always show you somehow when they’re ready for “the talk”. You only have to wait and listen carefully.
If you have just started dating, you have to show your partner how relaxed you are. Even if they bring up the subject of the future, you have to be cool.
Reveal your future plans and goals to them, but don’t talk about the future of your relationship.
Also, before you have a serious talk with your new partner, you must be completely sure that you truly want to spend the rest of your life together.
No matter how much you like the other person or even if you fall in love with them at first sight, you have to get to know them well before you start making any plans for the future with them.
If you rush into it, it’s not going to turn out as you expected. Trust me, it never does.
4. Aggressive flirting
Flirting is how you actually show someone that you’re interested in them romantically. It’s the best way to seduce a person you have a crush on, but it has to be done in the right way.
Some people are natural born flirters and they can seduce the person they like on any given day. On the other hand, there are some people that are desperate at flirting.
If you’re trying too hard and you don’t get any reactions from the other side, your flirt may become aggressive. That is a deal-breaker for starting a new relationship.
You may think that you should try even harder to get the attention of the person you like. That’s wrong. You’ll only scare that person away.
You don’t have to shower them with compliments or leave creepy comments on their Instagram photos. You shouldn’t exaggerate anything.
Seducing someone with a touch is the most efficient way to flirt with someone.
It’s gentle and subtle. Unfortunately, some men take it the wrong way and they get too touchy on the first date, which is something most women hate.
Maybe you saw it in a movie or you tried to copy the flirting technique of your favorite star, but this stuff does NOT work in real life.
5. Excessive compliments
Compliments are a good way to flirt, too. However, you should pay attention to a few things while complimenting your crush. If you don’t do it the right way, they won’t believe that you actually mean it.
If you come on too strong with compliments, it’ll also mean that you aren’t being honest. You have to give only sincere compliments to your crush.
It just sounds too good to be true. If you are complimenting a person you like all the time you spend with them, it will bore them or make them think you have some ulterior motives.
You should avoid coming on too strong with the compliments, especially when you meet someone for the first time.
You don’t know anything about that person, so you’ll only be able to compliment their physical appearance.
Besides, you never know how that other person is going to react to receiving so many compliments. You might scare them away because they’ll most probably think that you’ re some kind of weirdo.
I know that if you fall in love with someone at first sight, you can become fascinated by their beauty. You think that they should know how beautiful they are and you start giving them compliments.
If you shower your crush with compliments early on in the relationship, they’ll believe that you aren’t being sincere and that you don’t mean what you are saying.
Even though you’ve developed some strong and deep feelings for them and you know that your intentions are honest, they might get the feeling that you’re just trying to manipulate them.
6. Demanding to hang out every day
You’ve just met someone and you have instantly clicked with them. It’s normal that you enjoy spending time with them, but you shouldn’t ask them to spend every moment of their free time with you.
Remember, we all have different lives and different obligations. You have to respect everyone’s schedule.
If your crush is busy and they can’t hang out with you when you invite them, you have to understand. Don’t get angry right away.
Even if they don’t have a busy work schedule, if they don’t want to hang out with you, you have to accept it without getting angry.
Maybe they need some alone time or they are afraid that it’s all moving too fast and they need some space.
To be honest, we all need some space in a relationship. You have to be alone sometimes to think about your feelings and your relationship.
You have to ease back a little bit. Demanding that your crush hang out with you all the time only makes you appear clingy.
Being attached to someone will always lead you to getting your heart broken.
7. Being always available for them
It’s good to always be there for your crush when they need you. They should know that they can rely on you in every situation. However, that doesn’t mean that you should be available for them all the time.
You have to let them know that you have your own life and your own obligations. You shouldn’t make them the center of your life, or even worse, you shouldn’t show them immediately how much they mean to you.
You have your friends and family and you must spend some time with them also.
If you cancel your plans with them every time your crush calls you to hang out, not only will you lose them but you’ll also show your crush that it’s easy for you to let down the people who love you the most.
Being always available for them is not how to show them that you enjoy spending time with them, it will only make you seem and feel desperate.
You always reply to their messages instantly and answer their calls as soon as your phone rings. It’s like you’ve been waiting all day for their call or text.
If you were busy and you didn’t hear your phone ringing, you immediately apologize for not answering right away.
You totally forget about your schedule. Not even your job is important any more. You let the other person control everything. You let them plan every single date and you agree with everything they suggest.
Don’t always be available for your crush. You have to show them that you’re successful and that you have to stick to your schedule.
8. Popping up at their house unannounced
The worst thing you can do if your crush doesn’t reply to your messages is to show up at his house. It’s just totally off limits regardless of the case.
First, it’s rude. They might be having a party or some family gathering and you might ruin it. Their family will see you as someone who has no manners and you might never be welcome in their house again.
Showing up unnanounced at your crush’s house never goes well, trust me. It’s even worse if they didn’t give you the address but you found it out somehow.
Your crush is going to think that you’re spying on them and that can scare them away. They might even think that you’re some kind of maniac and ask you never to call them or talk with them in your life.
9. Contacting their family members or best friend without their approval
You shouldn’t talk with their family members or their friends until they introduce you to them. It means that you’re just trying to rush things in your relationship.
You have to be patient and wait. When your crush feels ready, they will introduce you to their parents. Still, even then you shouldn’t talk with them without your partner’s approval.
One thing they’ll never forgive you for at the beginning of your relationship is if you call their parents or friends every time you fight.
It’s normal to have some disagreements, afterall you’re still getting to know each other. The important thing is to learn to deal with them in a healthy way.
You have to learn to solve your problems privately and not to drag other people into your conflicts.
The only time it’s OK for you to call their family member or best friend without approval is if you need their help about choosing the right gift for your crush’s birthday or some other occasion.
10. Constantly checking their social media profiles
It’s good for you to check their Facebook or Instagram profiles and find out some new things about them. However, you shouldn’t check them all day long.
You can check some basic information about them, but you don’t have to check what their favorite movies, food, drinks, or songs are. You can wait until your next date and ask them about their interests in person.
You don’t have to spy on them and check up on everyone who has liked their photos or whose photos they’ve liked. Also, you should never like all their photos immediately, especially those from before you even met.
Even if you see something that you don’t like, if someone has left an inappropriate comment or something, you mustn’t react immediately.
In fact, you mustn’t react at all. Remember, you are still getting to know each other – you aren’t even dating yet. Even if you were, they don’t owe you any explanations about things that happened before you even met.
So be smart, and don’t ask directly. When the time comes, include it in a conversation topic and don’t let them know it bothers you that much.
Possessiveness and jealousy can drive your crush away. Believe me, if your crush ever finds out for you’ve been spying on them, they’ll run away in no time.
11. Continue to pursue the relationship, even they have rejected you many times
Rejection is never going to feel good, no matter the reason. It’s especially hard if you think that you’ve finally found your soulmate and they’ve rejected you.
However, you have to learn when to stop trying and pursuing the relationship. If a person has turned you down several times, then you have to come to terms with the fact they don’t like you and you can do nothing about it.
The more you pursue it, the more they’ll get bored by your persistence. You have to know that some people aren’t meant to be in your life. You have to know when it’s the right time to quit trying.
Sometimes you’re afraid that you’ll lose the person you like so much. You’ve tried hard to seduce them and you think that it’s the only way to win them over.
The truth is, coming on too strong and too fast is always a deal-breaker.
As you can see, there are many obvious red flags that you should never ignore while trying to seduce someone.
If you come on too strong while flirting with someone, it will most surely backfire on you and drive your crush away.
